Contents
1.Tools for Parenting Teens
2.Learn Their Lingo
3.Movie Reviews
4.Links to Learn From
5.A Little Encouragement...And Humor
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
1. Tools for Parenting Teens
From http://www.realworldparents.com/starters/
One Way or the Other
Like all of us when faced with options, kids will often try to find a way to have the best of all possible worlds. “Yes, I want A and then I want B. What do you mean I have to choose? Let’s just do it all.”
Sounds familiar? It’s a human trait and one teens, especially, are encouraged to indulge when it comes to making commitments. The only way to make everyone happy, to not miss out anything good, is to say yes to everything.
In addition to creating stress for kids and parents alike, this approach to life becomes impossible on a spiritual level when the choices we face are to maintain our commitment to Christ or to live in rebellion to the Word of God. We all attempt it, sometimes, but busy students can become expert at compartmentalizing rebellion and worship, disobedience and devotion.
In one sphere, they can seem to truly understand and enjoy serving God and talking about their faith in Him and then flip the switch when it’s time to “stand in the seat of scorners” with friends on a different path, friends not interested in the way of Christ.
We’re drawing our conversation points this week from Psalm 1, where David makes clear that we can’t walk both paths at the same time. Not only can we not fool God about our false sincerity, we will miss the physical and emotional blessings that come with faithful commitment to Him.
The big idea is this: Our happiness—or blessedness—is found in choosing God’s way. We hope a few of these questions might help you talk about that idea with your kids.
Talking Points
•When is it hardest for you to choose between two different options? Would you say you make decisions pretty quickly or do you feel like you really have to weigh all of the options to figure out the best thing?
•Is it easier sometimes not to choose—just to do everything or do nothing to skip having to make a decision? How does that usually work out?
•What kinds of things would you say make you feel the happiest in your life? What kinds of choices cause you to feel the least happy?
•One definition of the word “blessed” in Psalm 1:1 is “happy.” It says blessing comes to the person who makes a choice NOT to walk, stand, or sit with people who are disobeying or rejecting God. Can you think of any people or groups of people in your life really known for disobeying or rejecting God?
•What do imagine would be the consequences of hanging out with that group of people, of doing what they do and thinking the way they think? What impact do you think that would have on your sense of being blessed or happy?
•Have you noticed any of your friends that seem to try to avoid deciding between following Jesus and being accepted by a group of friends who don’t honor God? What are the consequences of trying to belong in both of those worlds at the same time?
•Is it easier to just kind of go along with whatever group you’re with? Why or why not?
•David describes in Psalm 1 some of the ways that God provides for those who choose to walk in His way. One benefit is that God provides for His children in all kinds of different ways. What are some of the ways that God provides for you?
•Do you ever think of yourself as being delighted or excited about God’s Word? Once sign of being excited about the Bible is to spend time thinking about it. Is there anything we can do to get more excited about what God tells us in the Bible? What would be the benefits of enjoying God’s Word instead of just having to study it like a textbook?
•According to Psalm 1, one consequence for people who reject God completely is that they get “blown away” like bits of plants that have no roots. What are your roots connected to, spiritually speaking? What keeps you connected to God?
•What do you have to offer friends and family members who seem to be rejecting God? What do they have to offer you?
Daily Prayer
Ask God to help your child to refuse to walk in the counsel of the wicked. (See Psalm 1:1.)
Featured Resource: Sacred Parenting
Explore the spiritual dynamics of parenting, and why caring for children is such an effective discipline in shaping our souls and forming the character of Christ within us.
http://www.realworldparents.com/store/item/sacred_parenting/
2. Learn Their Lingo
Frenemy = An enemy disguised as a friend.
Kind of a big deal = A term for a person who is facetiously joking about how important/cool/awesome they are.
3. Movie Reviews for Parents
Fame
Thirty years ago, the original “Fame” was built on the idea that talented kids could take their shot at glory by working with everything they…
Read Review:
http://www.realworldparents.com/movies/review/fame/
Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs
Based on the popular kids’ book, the movie version is a very different experience from that charming story. Wildly inventive, colorful and funny, it will…
Read Review:
http://www.realworldparents.com/movies/review/cloudy_with_a_chance_of_meatballs/
4. Links to Learn From
Smacking Makes Children Naughtier [Telegraph U.K.]
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/health/healthnews/6188692/Smacking-makes-children-naughtier-research.html
Reading and Writing Must Be a Priority [SmartBrief.com]
http://www.smartbrief.com/news/ascd/storyDetails.jsp?issueid=1EFBA3A0-48F5-4FAF-9FA2-7968350229B3©id=6DE78BF4-3E0C-44B9-AC50-91CE01674BBD
5. A Little Encouragement...And Humor
Where there is love, there is pain.
- Spanish Proverb
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
Are Teens Too Sleepy?
Are Teens Too Sleepy?
Mark tweeted on this fascinating article by Maria Christensen in Seattle about teens, sleep, and school start times suggesting students would do better in school and life if we’d just let them stay in the sack until, oh, 9 a.m. or so. Here’s the key quote:
What this means for teens in terms of school is that teenagers are getting up earlier than biology would dictate in order to get to school on time, and that is having a major affect on their lives. Mary Carskadon, professor of psychiatry and human behavior at Brown University and director of chronobiology and sleep research at E.P. Bradley Hospital in Providence, R.I., notes in an interview with Frontline that “teenagers are really put in a kind of a gray cloud when they aren’t having enough sleep. It affects both their mood and their ability to think and their ability to perform and react appropriately. So we have kids out there who struggle to stay awake while driving, who could do better at sports if they could react more quickly, who are feeling blue and having trouble getting along with the adults in their environment, and also who are struggling to learn in the classroom.”
This stands in stark contrast to the conventional wisdom most parents of teens would like to apply to their kids from Proverbs 6:9: “How long will you lie there, you sluggard? When will you get up from your sleep?”
But maybe we need to give a little more grace about the classic late night/early morning power struggle. Personally, my small Christian high school didn’t start classes until 8:45 a.m. back in the day—and that was enough to convince me of the value of staying away from the public school option that started classes before 7:30 a.m. (I’m sure my parents based their decision on more profound considerations.)
What’s your approach to getting them up in the morning? Does your school day start too early? Too late? Too groggy? What does wisdom have to say to your student about going to bed and getting up “in the way they should go”?
Daily Prayer
Ask God to help your family with proper balance and rest.
Mark tweeted on this fascinating article by Maria Christensen in Seattle about teens, sleep, and school start times suggesting students would do better in school and life if we’d just let them stay in the sack until, oh, 9 a.m. or so. Here’s the key quote:
What this means for teens in terms of school is that teenagers are getting up earlier than biology would dictate in order to get to school on time, and that is having a major affect on their lives. Mary Carskadon, professor of psychiatry and human behavior at Brown University and director of chronobiology and sleep research at E.P. Bradley Hospital in Providence, R.I., notes in an interview with Frontline that “teenagers are really put in a kind of a gray cloud when they aren’t having enough sleep. It affects both their mood and their ability to think and their ability to perform and react appropriately. So we have kids out there who struggle to stay awake while driving, who could do better at sports if they could react more quickly, who are feeling blue and having trouble getting along with the adults in their environment, and also who are struggling to learn in the classroom.”
This stands in stark contrast to the conventional wisdom most parents of teens would like to apply to their kids from Proverbs 6:9: “How long will you lie there, you sluggard? When will you get up from your sleep?”
But maybe we need to give a little more grace about the classic late night/early morning power struggle. Personally, my small Christian high school didn’t start classes until 8:45 a.m. back in the day—and that was enough to convince me of the value of staying away from the public school option that started classes before 7:30 a.m. (I’m sure my parents based their decision on more profound considerations.)
What’s your approach to getting them up in the morning? Does your school day start too early? Too late? Too groggy? What does wisdom have to say to your student about going to bed and getting up “in the way they should go”?
Daily Prayer
Ask God to help your family with proper balance and rest.
When God Waits
Contents
1.Tools for Parenting Teens
2.Learn Their Lingo
3.Movie Reviews
4.Links to Learn From
5.A Little Encouragement...And Humor
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
1. Tools for Parenting Teens
From http://www.realworldparents.com/starters/
When God Waits
One of the most difficult questions for Christian parents to answer is, “Why did God let this happen?” At issue may be the death of a loved one or a pet or any devastating loss deeply felt. If God is good and powerful and loving, why didn’t He step in? Why didn’t He stop it?
It can be a faith-challenging question for all of us. Even the good answers—the right answers—don’t always provide all of the comfort we’re looking for. Still, we know our God is trustworthy and that He truly loves us, and we’d like to communicate that assurance to our kids.
We’re going to approach the question this week from the perspective of John 11 and Jesus’ resurrection of Lazarus from the dead. In that story, Jesus is aware that His good friend is dying and He purposefully takes no action until it is “too late.” Jesus is saddened by the loss—and the pain felt by Mary and Martha—but He is also aware that He is serving a great purpose and the good of all involved by not stopping Lazarus from dying.
We hope a few of the questions below are helpful to you in beginning a conversation with your child about God’s goodness even when He doesn’t act as we expect or in accordance with our wishes. You might find it helpful to read through the story together in John 11:1-44.
[NOTE: This is the first of two parts. We will conclude the talking points about this chapter in next week’s Conversation Starters.]
Talking Points
•Have you ever wondered why God seemed not to answer one of your prayers—or why He said no?
•Why do you think God sometimes says no to requests for things that seem like they would be good for everyone?
•Does the existence of evil or the reality of great suffering ever make you question whether God is reliable? Or good? Or powerful? Or loving?
•Do you think God cares how we feel about His responses to our prayers or our pain?
•How much do you remember about the story of Jesus raising Lazarus from the dead? [Parent: Consider suggesting that the two of you read John 11 together.]
•John 11 tells us that Jesus loved Lazarus and his sisters Mary and Martha. Are you convinced that God loves you? [Parent: Try to reinforce the idea that God proved His love for your child by sending Jesus to die for them, in addition to the many other good gifts He has provided.]
•Jesus got the message from Mary and Martha. He knew Lazarus was sick. How can you be sure that God hears your prayers and knows what’s going on with you? [Parent: You might use Romans 8:26-27 to help answer this question. God’s Spirit communicates to Him perfectly our requests. We can be confident He hears us.]
•Jesus made the choice to wait to go to Lazarus and his sisters until after Lazarus was dead. In your own words, why do you think He did that? [Parent: In John 11, Jesus gives several reasons, including a plan to bring glory to God and to help others believe in God’s power in Him.]
•Do you think Jesus was making a choice between helping the people He cared about and fulfilling His own plans? Why or why not? [Parent: Try to emphasize the idea that God does not have to choose between helping those He loves and accomplishing His plan. You can use Romans 8:28 to show that He does both at the same time, even if His plan for us isn’t the one we would always choose ourselves.]
•Jesus’ disciples didn’t understand why, if Lazarus was already dead, Jesus would risk His life to go to a place where He would likely be killed —but they agreed to go with Him, anyway. How hard is it to trust that God knows what He’s doing when life feels dangerous? What makes it easier to trust Him? [Parent: Think about using John 11:9-10 to show that we are never safer than when walking in the daylight of God’s will—even if it feels really dark from our point of view.]
•Jesus tells the disciples He’s glad He wasn’t there to save Lazarus so they could believe. Is it a weird idea that God might sometimes not answer our prayers in the way we hope in order to help our faith grow? Can you think of an example of that happening in your life? [Parent: It might help for you to think of a time when getting what you wanted would have turned out to be much worse than what God ended up providing.]
•Martha tells Jesus that if He had been there, Lazarus would have lived—but that she also knows God will give Jesus whatever He asks. How can our disappointment with God’s answers to our prayers also be a way of showing that we believe in Him? [Parent: Help explain that our disappointment with God’s choices shows that we believe He is powerful enough to have stepped in and changed our circumstances. Disappointment doesn’t have to be evidence that we don’t trust God.]
•In your own words, how would you describe Jesus’ message of salvation? Now, let’s read how He puts it—and Martha’s statement of Christian belief—John 11:25-27.
•In your own words, how would you say we can know that God loves us and that He is powerful, good, and trustworthy—even when He doesn’t answer our prayers in the way we hope He would?
Daily Prayer
Ask God to help your child to run to Him even with their hardest questions and biggest doubts. (See John 11:28-32.)
Featured Resource: Sacred Parenting
Explore the spiritual dynamics of parenting, and why caring for children is such an effective discipline in shaping our souls and forming the character of Christ within us.
Save 20% off the retail price of “Sacred Parenting” when you use Coupon Code YPN391 and order by 9/30/09
http://www.realworldparents.com/store/item/sacred_parenting/
2. Learn Their Lingo
Frenemy = An enemy disguised as a friend.
Kind of a big deal = A term for a person who is facetiously joking about how important/cool/awesome they are.
3. Movie Reviews for Parents
Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs
Based on the popular kids’ book, the movie version is a very different experience from that charming story. Wildly inventive, colorful and funny, it will…
Read Review:
http://www.realworldparents.com/movies/review/cloudy_with_a_chance_of_meatballs/
I Can Do Bad All By Myself
Tyler Perry has quickly become one of our most successful filmmakers. His usually urban stories lean toward the melodramatic, walking the line between comedy and…
Read Review:
http://www.realworldparents.com/movies/review/i_can_do_bad_all_by_myself/
4. Links to Learn From
Smacking Makes Children Naughtier [Telegraph U.K.]
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/health/healthnews/6188692/Smacking-makes-children-naughtier-research.html
Reading and Writing Must Be a Priority [SmartBrief.com]
http://www.smartbrief.com/news/ascd/storyDetails.jsp?issueid=1EFBA3A0-48F5-4FAF-9FA2-7968350229B3©id=6DE78BF4-3E0C-44B9-AC50-91CE01674BBD
5. A Little Encouragement...And Humor
Where there is love, there is pain.
- Spanish Proverb
1.Tools for Parenting Teens
2.Learn Their Lingo
3.Movie Reviews
4.Links to Learn From
5.A Little Encouragement...And Humor
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
1. Tools for Parenting Teens
From http://www.realworldparents.com/starters/
When God Waits
One of the most difficult questions for Christian parents to answer is, “Why did God let this happen?” At issue may be the death of a loved one or a pet or any devastating loss deeply felt. If God is good and powerful and loving, why didn’t He step in? Why didn’t He stop it?
It can be a faith-challenging question for all of us. Even the good answers—the right answers—don’t always provide all of the comfort we’re looking for. Still, we know our God is trustworthy and that He truly loves us, and we’d like to communicate that assurance to our kids.
We’re going to approach the question this week from the perspective of John 11 and Jesus’ resurrection of Lazarus from the dead. In that story, Jesus is aware that His good friend is dying and He purposefully takes no action until it is “too late.” Jesus is saddened by the loss—and the pain felt by Mary and Martha—but He is also aware that He is serving a great purpose and the good of all involved by not stopping Lazarus from dying.
We hope a few of the questions below are helpful to you in beginning a conversation with your child about God’s goodness even when He doesn’t act as we expect or in accordance with our wishes. You might find it helpful to read through the story together in John 11:1-44.
[NOTE: This is the first of two parts. We will conclude the talking points about this chapter in next week’s Conversation Starters.]
Talking Points
•Have you ever wondered why God seemed not to answer one of your prayers—or why He said no?
•Why do you think God sometimes says no to requests for things that seem like they would be good for everyone?
•Does the existence of evil or the reality of great suffering ever make you question whether God is reliable? Or good? Or powerful? Or loving?
•Do you think God cares how we feel about His responses to our prayers or our pain?
•How much do you remember about the story of Jesus raising Lazarus from the dead? [Parent: Consider suggesting that the two of you read John 11 together.]
•John 11 tells us that Jesus loved Lazarus and his sisters Mary and Martha. Are you convinced that God loves you? [Parent: Try to reinforce the idea that God proved His love for your child by sending Jesus to die for them, in addition to the many other good gifts He has provided.]
•Jesus got the message from Mary and Martha. He knew Lazarus was sick. How can you be sure that God hears your prayers and knows what’s going on with you? [Parent: You might use Romans 8:26-27 to help answer this question. God’s Spirit communicates to Him perfectly our requests. We can be confident He hears us.]
•Jesus made the choice to wait to go to Lazarus and his sisters until after Lazarus was dead. In your own words, why do you think He did that? [Parent: In John 11, Jesus gives several reasons, including a plan to bring glory to God and to help others believe in God’s power in Him.]
•Do you think Jesus was making a choice between helping the people He cared about and fulfilling His own plans? Why or why not? [Parent: Try to emphasize the idea that God does not have to choose between helping those He loves and accomplishing His plan. You can use Romans 8:28 to show that He does both at the same time, even if His plan for us isn’t the one we would always choose ourselves.]
•Jesus’ disciples didn’t understand why, if Lazarus was already dead, Jesus would risk His life to go to a place where He would likely be killed —but they agreed to go with Him, anyway. How hard is it to trust that God knows what He’s doing when life feels dangerous? What makes it easier to trust Him? [Parent: Think about using John 11:9-10 to show that we are never safer than when walking in the daylight of God’s will—even if it feels really dark from our point of view.]
•Jesus tells the disciples He’s glad He wasn’t there to save Lazarus so they could believe. Is it a weird idea that God might sometimes not answer our prayers in the way we hope in order to help our faith grow? Can you think of an example of that happening in your life? [Parent: It might help for you to think of a time when getting what you wanted would have turned out to be much worse than what God ended up providing.]
•Martha tells Jesus that if He had been there, Lazarus would have lived—but that she also knows God will give Jesus whatever He asks. How can our disappointment with God’s answers to our prayers also be a way of showing that we believe in Him? [Parent: Help explain that our disappointment with God’s choices shows that we believe He is powerful enough to have stepped in and changed our circumstances. Disappointment doesn’t have to be evidence that we don’t trust God.]
•In your own words, how would you describe Jesus’ message of salvation? Now, let’s read how He puts it—and Martha’s statement of Christian belief—John 11:25-27.
•In your own words, how would you say we can know that God loves us and that He is powerful, good, and trustworthy—even when He doesn’t answer our prayers in the way we hope He would?
Daily Prayer
Ask God to help your child to run to Him even with their hardest questions and biggest doubts. (See John 11:28-32.)
Featured Resource: Sacred Parenting
Explore the spiritual dynamics of parenting, and why caring for children is such an effective discipline in shaping our souls and forming the character of Christ within us.
Save 20% off the retail price of “Sacred Parenting” when you use Coupon Code YPN391 and order by 9/30/09
http://www.realworldparents.com/store/item/sacred_parenting/
2. Learn Their Lingo
Frenemy = An enemy disguised as a friend.
Kind of a big deal = A term for a person who is facetiously joking about how important/cool/awesome they are.
3. Movie Reviews for Parents
Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs
Based on the popular kids’ book, the movie version is a very different experience from that charming story. Wildly inventive, colorful and funny, it will…
Read Review:
http://www.realworldparents.com/movies/review/cloudy_with_a_chance_of_meatballs/
I Can Do Bad All By Myself
Tyler Perry has quickly become one of our most successful filmmakers. His usually urban stories lean toward the melodramatic, walking the line between comedy and…
Read Review:
http://www.realworldparents.com/movies/review/i_can_do_bad_all_by_myself/
4. Links to Learn From
Smacking Makes Children Naughtier [Telegraph U.K.]
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/health/healthnews/6188692/Smacking-makes-children-naughtier-research.html
Reading and Writing Must Be a Priority [SmartBrief.com]
http://www.smartbrief.com/news/ascd/storyDetails.jsp?issueid=1EFBA3A0-48F5-4FAF-9FA2-7968350229B3©id=6DE78BF4-3E0C-44B9-AC50-91CE01674BBD
5. A Little Encouragement...And Humor
Where there is love, there is pain.
- Spanish Proverb
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
When God Waits
Contents
1.Tools for Parenting Teens
2.Learn Their Lingo
3.Movie Reviews
4.Links to Learn From
5.A Little Encouragement...And Humor
-------------------------------------------------------------------
1. Tools for Parenting Teens
From http://www.realworldparents.com/starters/
When God Waits
One of the most difficult questions for Christian parents to answer is, “Why did God let this happen?” At issue may be the death of a loved one or a pet or any devastating loss deeply felt. If God is good and powerful and loving, why didn’t He step in? Why didn’t He stop it?
It can be a faith-challenging question for all of us. Even the good answers—the right answers—don’t always provide all of the comfort we’re looking for. Still, we know our God is trustworthy and that He truly loves us, and we’d like to communicate that assurance to our kids.
We’re going to approach the question this week from the perspective of John 11 and Jesus’ resurrection of Lazarus from the dead. In that story, Jesus is aware that His good friend is dying and He purposefully takes no action until it is “too late.” Jesus is saddened by the loss—and the pain felt by Mary and Martha—but He is also aware that He is serving a great purpose and the good of all involved by not stopping Lazarus from dying.
We hope a few of the questions below are helpful to you in beginning a conversation with your child about God’s goodness even when He doesn’t act as we expect or in accordance with our wishes. You might find it helpful to read through the story together in John 11:1-44.
[NOTE: This is the first of two parts. We will conclude the talking points about this chapter in next week’s Conversation Starters.]
Talking Points
•Have you ever wondered why God seemed not to answer one of your prayers—or why He said no?
•Why do you think God sometimes says no to requests for things that seem like they would be good for everyone?
•Does the existence of evil or the reality of great suffering ever make you question whether God is reliable? Or good? Or powerful? Or loving?
•Do you think God cares how we feel about His responses to our prayers or our pain?
•How much do you remember about the story of Jesus raising Lazarus from the dead? [Parent: Consider suggesting that the two of you read John 11 together.]
•John 11 tells us that Jesus loved Lazarus and his sisters Mary and Martha. Are you convinced that God loves you? [Parent: Try to reinforce the idea that God proved His love for your child by sending Jesus to die for them, in addition to the many other good gifts He has provided.]
•Jesus got the message from Mary and Martha. He knew Lazarus was sick. How can you be sure that God hears your prayers and knows what’s going on with you? [Parent: You might use Romans 8:26-27 to help answer this question. God’s Spirit communicates to Him perfectly our requests. We can be confident He hears us.]
•Jesus made the choice to wait to go to Lazarus and his sisters until after Lazarus was dead. In your own words, why do you think He did that? [Parent: In John 11, Jesus gives several reasons, including a plan to bring glory to God and to help others believe in God’s power in Him.]
•Do you think Jesus was making a choice between helping the people He cared about and fulfilling His own plans? Why or why not? [Parent: Try to emphasize the idea that God does not have to choose between helping those He loves and accomplishing His plan. You can use Romans 8:28 to show that He does both at the same time, even if His plan for us isn’t the one we would always choose ourselves.]
•Jesus’ disciples didn’t understand why, if Lazarus was already dead, Jesus would risk His life to go to a place where He would likely be killed —but they agreed to go with Him, anyway. How hard is it to trust that God knows what He’s doing when life feels dangerous? What makes it easier to trust Him? [Parent: Think about using John 11:9-10 to show that we are never safer than when walking in the daylight of God’s will—even if it feels really dark from our point of view.]
•Jesus tells the disciples He’s glad He wasn’t there to save Lazarus so they could believe. Is it a weird idea that God might sometimes not answer our prayers in the way we hope in order to help our faith grow? Can you think of an example of that happening in your life? [Parent: It might help for you to think of a time when getting what you wanted would have turned out to be much worse than what God ended up providing.]
•Martha tells Jesus that if He had been there, Lazarus would have lived—but that she also knows God will give Jesus whatever He asks. How can our disappointment with God’s answers to our prayers also be a way of showing that we believe in Him? [Parent: Help explain that our disappointment with God’s choices shows that we believe He is powerful enough to have stepped in and changed our circumstances. Disappointment doesn’t have to be evidence that we don’t trust God.]
•In your own words, how would you describe Jesus’ message of salvation? Now, let’s read how He puts it—and Martha’s statement of Christian belief—John 11:25-27.
•In your own words, how would you say we can know that God loves us and that He is powerful, good, and trustworthy—even when He doesn’t answer our prayers in the way we hope He would?
Daily Prayer
Thank God that your believing child can be called a friend of Jesus. (See John 11:1-3.)
Featured Resource: Sacred Parenting
Explore the spiritual dynamics of parenting, and why caring for children is such an effective discipline in shaping our souls and forming the character of Christ within us.
Save 20% off the retail price of “Sacred Parenting” when you use Coupon Code YPN391 and order by 9/30/09
http://www.realworldparents.com/store/item/sacred_parenting/
2. Learn Their Lingo
Afterclap = That last person/people who keep(s) clapping after everyone else has stopped.
mascary = When a person wears a scary amount of mascara
3. Movie Reviews for Parents
9
This dark, post-apocalyptic tale began as an 11-minute short film by a UCLA animation student. The wildly original story is built on a very spiritual…
Read Review:
http://www.realworldparents.com/movies/review/nine/
All About Steve
In spite of a likable cast, very few recent films have annoyed secular critics as much as “All About Steve.” We can’t disagree. But if…
Read Review:
http://www.realworldparents.com/movies/review/all_about_steve/
4. Links to Learn From
Girls and Dieting, Then and Now [Wall Street Journal]
http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052970204731804574386822245731710.html
Better News, but Retail Prospects Are Still Dim [New York Times]
http://www.nytimes.com/2009/09/02/business/economy/02shop.html?_r=1&hp
Survey: Parents overestimate role in teens’ sex education [Austin-American Statesman]
http://www.statesman.com/news/content/news/stories/local/2009/09/02/0902teensex.html
5. A Little Encouragement...And Humor
Take the first step in faith. You don't have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step.
- Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.
1.Tools for Parenting Teens
2.Learn Their Lingo
3.Movie Reviews
4.Links to Learn From
5.A Little Encouragement...And Humor
-------------------------------------------------------------------
1. Tools for Parenting Teens
From http://www.realworldparents.com/starters/
When God Waits
One of the most difficult questions for Christian parents to answer is, “Why did God let this happen?” At issue may be the death of a loved one or a pet or any devastating loss deeply felt. If God is good and powerful and loving, why didn’t He step in? Why didn’t He stop it?
It can be a faith-challenging question for all of us. Even the good answers—the right answers—don’t always provide all of the comfort we’re looking for. Still, we know our God is trustworthy and that He truly loves us, and we’d like to communicate that assurance to our kids.
We’re going to approach the question this week from the perspective of John 11 and Jesus’ resurrection of Lazarus from the dead. In that story, Jesus is aware that His good friend is dying and He purposefully takes no action until it is “too late.” Jesus is saddened by the loss—and the pain felt by Mary and Martha—but He is also aware that He is serving a great purpose and the good of all involved by not stopping Lazarus from dying.
We hope a few of the questions below are helpful to you in beginning a conversation with your child about God’s goodness even when He doesn’t act as we expect or in accordance with our wishes. You might find it helpful to read through the story together in John 11:1-44.
[NOTE: This is the first of two parts. We will conclude the talking points about this chapter in next week’s Conversation Starters.]
Talking Points
•Have you ever wondered why God seemed not to answer one of your prayers—or why He said no?
•Why do you think God sometimes says no to requests for things that seem like they would be good for everyone?
•Does the existence of evil or the reality of great suffering ever make you question whether God is reliable? Or good? Or powerful? Or loving?
•Do you think God cares how we feel about His responses to our prayers or our pain?
•How much do you remember about the story of Jesus raising Lazarus from the dead? [Parent: Consider suggesting that the two of you read John 11 together.]
•John 11 tells us that Jesus loved Lazarus and his sisters Mary and Martha. Are you convinced that God loves you? [Parent: Try to reinforce the idea that God proved His love for your child by sending Jesus to die for them, in addition to the many other good gifts He has provided.]
•Jesus got the message from Mary and Martha. He knew Lazarus was sick. How can you be sure that God hears your prayers and knows what’s going on with you? [Parent: You might use Romans 8:26-27 to help answer this question. God’s Spirit communicates to Him perfectly our requests. We can be confident He hears us.]
•Jesus made the choice to wait to go to Lazarus and his sisters until after Lazarus was dead. In your own words, why do you think He did that? [Parent: In John 11, Jesus gives several reasons, including a plan to bring glory to God and to help others believe in God’s power in Him.]
•Do you think Jesus was making a choice between helping the people He cared about and fulfilling His own plans? Why or why not? [Parent: Try to emphasize the idea that God does not have to choose between helping those He loves and accomplishing His plan. You can use Romans 8:28 to show that He does both at the same time, even if His plan for us isn’t the one we would always choose ourselves.]
•Jesus’ disciples didn’t understand why, if Lazarus was already dead, Jesus would risk His life to go to a place where He would likely be killed —but they agreed to go with Him, anyway. How hard is it to trust that God knows what He’s doing when life feels dangerous? What makes it easier to trust Him? [Parent: Think about using John 11:9-10 to show that we are never safer than when walking in the daylight of God’s will—even if it feels really dark from our point of view.]
•Jesus tells the disciples He’s glad He wasn’t there to save Lazarus so they could believe. Is it a weird idea that God might sometimes not answer our prayers in the way we hope in order to help our faith grow? Can you think of an example of that happening in your life? [Parent: It might help for you to think of a time when getting what you wanted would have turned out to be much worse than what God ended up providing.]
•Martha tells Jesus that if He had been there, Lazarus would have lived—but that she also knows God will give Jesus whatever He asks. How can our disappointment with God’s answers to our prayers also be a way of showing that we believe in Him? [Parent: Help explain that our disappointment with God’s choices shows that we believe He is powerful enough to have stepped in and changed our circumstances. Disappointment doesn’t have to be evidence that we don’t trust God.]
•In your own words, how would you describe Jesus’ message of salvation? Now, let’s read how He puts it—and Martha’s statement of Christian belief—John 11:25-27.
•In your own words, how would you say we can know that God loves us and that He is powerful, good, and trustworthy—even when He doesn’t answer our prayers in the way we hope He would?
Daily Prayer
Thank God that your believing child can be called a friend of Jesus. (See John 11:1-3.)
Featured Resource: Sacred Parenting
Explore the spiritual dynamics of parenting, and why caring for children is such an effective discipline in shaping our souls and forming the character of Christ within us.
Save 20% off the retail price of “Sacred Parenting” when you use Coupon Code YPN391 and order by 9/30/09
http://www.realworldparents.com/store/item/sacred_parenting/
2. Learn Their Lingo
Afterclap = That last person/people who keep(s) clapping after everyone else has stopped.
mascary = When a person wears a scary amount of mascara
3. Movie Reviews for Parents
9
This dark, post-apocalyptic tale began as an 11-minute short film by a UCLA animation student. The wildly original story is built on a very spiritual…
Read Review:
http://www.realworldparents.com/movies/review/nine/
All About Steve
In spite of a likable cast, very few recent films have annoyed secular critics as much as “All About Steve.” We can’t disagree. But if…
Read Review:
http://www.realworldparents.com/movies/review/all_about_steve/
4. Links to Learn From
Girls and Dieting, Then and Now [Wall Street Journal]
http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052970204731804574386822245731710.html
Better News, but Retail Prospects Are Still Dim [New York Times]
http://www.nytimes.com/2009/09/02/business/economy/02shop.html?_r=1&hp
Survey: Parents overestimate role in teens’ sex education [Austin-American Statesman]
http://www.statesman.com/news/content/news/stories/local/2009/09/02/0902teensex.html
5. A Little Encouragement...And Humor
Take the first step in faith. You don't have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step.
- Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
Jesus In Their Shoes
Contents
1.Tools for Parenting Teens
2.Learn Their Lingo
3.Movie Reviews
4.Links to Learn From
5.A Little Encouragement...And Humor
1. Tools for Parenting Teens
From http://www.realworldparents.com/starters/
Jesus in Their Shoes
We’re continuing the conversation we started last week about what it means for our kids to take on the identity of Jesus Christ in their corner of the world. It’s a big, biblical idea that feels really weird for a few reasons.
For one thing, some of the world’s loudest messages are that we should all become better versions of ourselves. Instead, we’re hoping to help our kids trade themselves in to become more and more like Jesus—to take on His I.D. as their own.
In a sense, we want to help them to imagine how He would live their lives if He was in their shoes. How would He act in their group of friends? How would He handle their part-time job? How would He respond to our own less-than-perfect parenting?
The answers to some of those questions—and how to move ourselves closer to living that way in our own lives—is found in Colossians 3:12-17. That’s where we’re pulling our talking point from this week. Hopefully, a few of these questions will help you and your child to talk through some of these big ideas together.
Talking Points
•How do you think God sees you right now? What do you think He thinks of you?
•Why do you think He feels that way?
•How do you think He sees or thinks about Jesus? Would it surprise you to know that the Father thinks about you in the same way He does Jesus?
•In Colossians 3:12, Paul writes that God sees us as “chosen,” “holy” (set apart for something special), and “dearly loved.” Do you understand why God cares so deeply about you and me?
•What do you think God cares more about—that we stop sinning or that we start doing the good things Jesus would do in our shoes? [Parent: Emphasize that God cares most that we live like Jesus; He’s working right now to make us like Chris in every way.]
•In Colossians 3:13, Paul lists five characteristics Christians should “put on” as we put on clothes. How would you define these five things in your own words: compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, patience? [Parent: Emphasize that each of these five things involves taking our minds off of ourselves and putting them on others.]
•In your own words, how would you describe how God has forgiven you? Did you deserve to be forgiven? Why do you think He forgave you?
•Colossians 3:13 tells us to forgive each other in the same way that God has forgiven us. Do you think we think of ourselves as forgiven people? Why or why not?
•How does thinking of ourselves as forgiven help us to forgive others and be more like Jesus?
•Would you describe our home as a peaceful place? Why or why not?
•Can a person’s life be full of some chaos and confusion while they still have peace in their hearts? Why or why not?
•What do you think it means to “let the peace of Christ rule” in our hearts? (See Colossians 3:15.) How do we let Christ’s peace rule—or keep it from ruling?
•How does peace come about when two groups are at war? How do we surrender ourselves to God and to each other to create peace?
•What would be the value of having His peace in your heart at school or in sports or at home?
•Who are some of the most peaceful people you know?
•We’re told in Colossians 3:16 to let the word of Christ live inside our hearts “richly.” Do you think we do a good job of letting Christ’s words live inside of us in our family?
•What are some things we—or you—could do to be more intentional about getting Christ’s word out of the Bible and into our hearts? Will that make any difference in the way we live our lives?
•How important is music to you? How does music influence your mood and/or what you think about? Why do you think music can be so powerful?
•How important are “psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs” in your life? Does that Christian music help you feel closer to God?
•Do you enjoy singing songs to God? Songs about God? What’s the value of singing those kinds of songs together with other Christians?
•Which is more helpful to your spiritual relationship with God, singing spiritual songs or listening to others sing them? Why do you think that is?
•If your identity is supposed to be Jesus, how much of the time should you live as Jesus? [Parent: We’re trying to emphasize that we need to live in Christ all of the time.]
•Let’s read Colossians 3:17 together. Does that leave room to have any part of our lives set aside to NOT live “in Jesus’ name”? What does it mean to talk and act “in the name of Jesus”?
•How do you think Jesus would live your life differently if He suddenly became you and went to school for you and went to church for you and went to work for you (without anyone knowing it was not you)? What differences would people notice right away? What difference would they notice over time?
•What things would not change if Jesus started living your life for you? In other words, what are some ways you are already living as Jesus in your life?
•What can we do together to help each other do a better job of living as Christ in our home and world?
Daily Prayer
Ask God to help your child to clothe themselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. (See Colossians 3:12.)
Featured Resource: Sacred Parenting
Explore the spiritual dynamics of parenting, and why caring for children is such an effective discipline in shaping our souls and forming the character of Christ within us.
Save 20% off the retail price of “Sacred Parenting” when you use Coupon Code YPN391 and order by 9/30/09
http://www.realworldparents.com/store/item/sacred_parenting/
2. Learn Their Lingo
Afterclap = That last person/people who keep(s) clapping after everyone else has stopped.
mascary = When a person wears a scary amount of mascara
3. Movie Reviews for Parents
All About Steve
In spite of a likable cast, very few recent films have annoyed secular critics as much as “All About Steve.” We can’t disagree. But if…
Read Review:
http://www.realworldparents.com/movies/review/all_about_steve/
500 Days of Summer
This non-linear romantic comedy brings lots of artful indie charm, has won over secular critics, and is likely to appeal to older teens. It finds…
Read Review:
http://www.realworldparents.com/movies/review/500_days_of_summer/
4. Links to Learn From
Girls and Dieting, Then and Now [Wall Street Journal]
http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052970204731804574386822245731710.html
Better News, but Retail Prospects Are Still Dim [New York Times]
http://www.nytimes.com/2009/09/02/business/economy/02shop.html?_r=1&hp
Survey: Parents overestimate role in teens’ sex education [Austin-American Statesman]
http://www.statesman.com/news/content/news/stories/local/2009/09/02/0902teensex.html
5. A Little Encouragement...And Humor
Take the first step in faith. You don't have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step.
- Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.
Upcoming Seminar Locations
YEILD Kershaw
- Kershaw, SC
Shady Grove UMC
- Winston-Salem, NC
First Reformed Church
- Landis, NC
Our Savior Lutheran Church
- Mankato, MN
Alliance Church of the Valley
- St. Croix Falls, WI
1.Tools for Parenting Teens
2.Learn Their Lingo
3.Movie Reviews
4.Links to Learn From
5.A Little Encouragement...And Humor
1. Tools for Parenting Teens
From http://www.realworldparents.com/starters/
Jesus in Their Shoes
We’re continuing the conversation we started last week about what it means for our kids to take on the identity of Jesus Christ in their corner of the world. It’s a big, biblical idea that feels really weird for a few reasons.
For one thing, some of the world’s loudest messages are that we should all become better versions of ourselves. Instead, we’re hoping to help our kids trade themselves in to become more and more like Jesus—to take on His I.D. as their own.
In a sense, we want to help them to imagine how He would live their lives if He was in their shoes. How would He act in their group of friends? How would He handle their part-time job? How would He respond to our own less-than-perfect parenting?
The answers to some of those questions—and how to move ourselves closer to living that way in our own lives—is found in Colossians 3:12-17. That’s where we’re pulling our talking point from this week. Hopefully, a few of these questions will help you and your child to talk through some of these big ideas together.
Talking Points
•How do you think God sees you right now? What do you think He thinks of you?
•Why do you think He feels that way?
•How do you think He sees or thinks about Jesus? Would it surprise you to know that the Father thinks about you in the same way He does Jesus?
•In Colossians 3:12, Paul writes that God sees us as “chosen,” “holy” (set apart for something special), and “dearly loved.” Do you understand why God cares so deeply about you and me?
•What do you think God cares more about—that we stop sinning or that we start doing the good things Jesus would do in our shoes? [Parent: Emphasize that God cares most that we live like Jesus; He’s working right now to make us like Chris in every way.]
•In Colossians 3:13, Paul lists five characteristics Christians should “put on” as we put on clothes. How would you define these five things in your own words: compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, patience? [Parent: Emphasize that each of these five things involves taking our minds off of ourselves and putting them on others.]
•In your own words, how would you describe how God has forgiven you? Did you deserve to be forgiven? Why do you think He forgave you?
•Colossians 3:13 tells us to forgive each other in the same way that God has forgiven us. Do you think we think of ourselves as forgiven people? Why or why not?
•How does thinking of ourselves as forgiven help us to forgive others and be more like Jesus?
•Would you describe our home as a peaceful place? Why or why not?
•Can a person’s life be full of some chaos and confusion while they still have peace in their hearts? Why or why not?
•What do you think it means to “let the peace of Christ rule” in our hearts? (See Colossians 3:15.) How do we let Christ’s peace rule—or keep it from ruling?
•How does peace come about when two groups are at war? How do we surrender ourselves to God and to each other to create peace?
•What would be the value of having His peace in your heart at school or in sports or at home?
•Who are some of the most peaceful people you know?
•We’re told in Colossians 3:16 to let the word of Christ live inside our hearts “richly.” Do you think we do a good job of letting Christ’s words live inside of us in our family?
•What are some things we—or you—could do to be more intentional about getting Christ’s word out of the Bible and into our hearts? Will that make any difference in the way we live our lives?
•How important is music to you? How does music influence your mood and/or what you think about? Why do you think music can be so powerful?
•How important are “psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs” in your life? Does that Christian music help you feel closer to God?
•Do you enjoy singing songs to God? Songs about God? What’s the value of singing those kinds of songs together with other Christians?
•Which is more helpful to your spiritual relationship with God, singing spiritual songs or listening to others sing them? Why do you think that is?
•If your identity is supposed to be Jesus, how much of the time should you live as Jesus? [Parent: We’re trying to emphasize that we need to live in Christ all of the time.]
•Let’s read Colossians 3:17 together. Does that leave room to have any part of our lives set aside to NOT live “in Jesus’ name”? What does it mean to talk and act “in the name of Jesus”?
•How do you think Jesus would live your life differently if He suddenly became you and went to school for you and went to church for you and went to work for you (without anyone knowing it was not you)? What differences would people notice right away? What difference would they notice over time?
•What things would not change if Jesus started living your life for you? In other words, what are some ways you are already living as Jesus in your life?
•What can we do together to help each other do a better job of living as Christ in our home and world?
Daily Prayer
Ask God to help your child to clothe themselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. (See Colossians 3:12.)
Featured Resource: Sacred Parenting
Explore the spiritual dynamics of parenting, and why caring for children is such an effective discipline in shaping our souls and forming the character of Christ within us.
Save 20% off the retail price of “Sacred Parenting” when you use Coupon Code YPN391 and order by 9/30/09
http://www.realworldparents.com/store/item/sacred_parenting/
2. Learn Their Lingo
Afterclap = That last person/people who keep(s) clapping after everyone else has stopped.
mascary = When a person wears a scary amount of mascara
3. Movie Reviews for Parents
All About Steve
In spite of a likable cast, very few recent films have annoyed secular critics as much as “All About Steve.” We can’t disagree. But if…
Read Review:
http://www.realworldparents.com/movies/review/all_about_steve/
500 Days of Summer
This non-linear romantic comedy brings lots of artful indie charm, has won over secular critics, and is likely to appeal to older teens. It finds…
Read Review:
http://www.realworldparents.com/movies/review/500_days_of_summer/
4. Links to Learn From
Girls and Dieting, Then and Now [Wall Street Journal]
http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052970204731804574386822245731710.html
Better News, but Retail Prospects Are Still Dim [New York Times]
http://www.nytimes.com/2009/09/02/business/economy/02shop.html?_r=1&hp
Survey: Parents overestimate role in teens’ sex education [Austin-American Statesman]
http://www.statesman.com/news/content/news/stories/local/2009/09/02/0902teensex.html
5. A Little Encouragement...And Humor
Take the first step in faith. You don't have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step.
- Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.
Upcoming Seminar Locations
YEILD Kershaw
- Kershaw, SC
Shady Grove UMC
- Winston-Salem, NC
First Reformed Church
- Landis, NC
Our Savior Lutheran Church
- Mankato, MN
Alliance Church of the Valley
- St. Croix Falls, WI
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
THe 10 Commandments
Contents
1. Tools for Parenting Teens
2. Learn Their Lingo
3. Movie Reviews
4. Links to Learn From
5. A Little Encouragement...And Humor
1. Tools for Parenting Teens
From http://www.realworldparents.com/starters/
The Ten Commandments
Why talk about the Ten Commandments with your son or daughter? It’s worth asking the question. After all, we’re trying to help our students to catch the idea that, as Christians, we are saved by grace and not by following the law—that our struggle with sin, including the big Ten, does not disqualify us from being loved by God if our faith is in Christ.
Unfortunately, the message many teens hear (right along with people of every age) is that our sin doesn’t really matter that much to God, after all. If forgiveness is given away for free to all who believe, some assume that what is forgiven is therefore not all that significant. We cannot over-emphasize the grace of God to our kids, but we can under-emphasize His revulsion to our sin.
That’s why we—and especially our kids—need to understand God’s standard for right and wrong in order to get how amazing His grace really is. The Ten Commandments is a good place to start talking about why God takes sin so seriously. These rules reveal who God is—what matters to Him and what He wants for His children.
We hope a few of the following questions will help you to have a productive conversation with your child about the Ten Commandments and the grace of God. You might find it helpful to read through Exodus 20:1-17 together. If you don’t have an opportunity to talk through the whole list, it would be easy to bring up any or all of the commandments—or even just the idea of the list—in smaller conversations as teachable moments present themselves.
Talking Points
•How many of the Ten Commandments can you name without looking? [Parent: Have the list ready to complete it together.]
•Do you remember the story of where and how God gave these ten rules to the Israelites? [Parent: Be prepared to sketch out the backstory from Exodus 19: It had been 3 months since the Israelites had crossed the Red Sea, escaping from Egypt. One of God’s first stops for them was at Mount Sinai, where He gave these commandments.]
•Do you think it’s important for Christians to know and understand the Ten Commandments? Why or why not?
•Is it worse for us to break these rules than to break others of God’s instructions in the Bible? What “happens to you” if you break one of these commands? Will God hate you or punish you? [Parent: Be sure to emphasize that we are all sinners and can be saved only by God’s grace and forgiveness through faith in Jesus. Help your child to understand that God’s forgiveness for those in Christ covers all of our sin.]
•If our Father has already forgiven our sin through our faith in Jesus’ death in our place on the cross—why does it matter that we know about the law? Does God really care if we keep sinning? [Parent: Check out Romans 5 and 6 for good answers to these questions if you want to go deeper.]
•What do the first two commands—no other gods and no idols—tell us about God? Why do you think He is so opposed to His people worshipping other gods or looking to other supernatural sources for help?
•Most people we know don’t worship actual idols they think of as gods. But what kinds of things do people in our culture tend to put ahead of god? What kinds of things do we turn to for help instead of God?
•Paul describes greed as idol worship (in Ephesians 5:5 and Colossians 3:5). How is wanting and trying to get things you don’t need like worshiping an idol?
•The third commandment warns against using God’s name in vain. His name has power. To use it in vain means to disrespect Him or to misuse His power. Do you think anyone takes this command seriously any more? How many people do you know who refuse to use God’s name in disrespectful or deceitful ways?
•What choices have you made about using God’s name or Jesus’ name for swearing or lying or condemning people? Some Christians don’t seem uncomfortable saying “oh my God” or “Jesus” when they’re excited or angry. Why do you think that is?
•“Remember the Sabbath day by keeping it holy” is the fourth command to the Israelites. It’s the only one on the list that New Testament Christians are not called to practice in exactly the same way. Why is that? [Parent: Be prepared to explain your understanding of the Sabbath and how your church addresses it.]
•Commandment 5 gets repeated almost exactly in Ephesians 6:1-3. What does it mean to you to honor your parents? Should it matter whether your parents deserve honor or not, according to God?
•Why do you think this command was important enough to make the list? Do you think it takes more faith in God for some people to obey this command than others? Why?
•Commands 6 - 8 are the simplest ones: Don’t murder. Don’t commit adultery. Don’t steal. Do you think God intended for there to be any exceptions to these commands? Why or why not?
•The ninth commandment deals with lying, specifically lying in a legal sense to hurt another person. Has anyone ever lied in a way that ended up hurting you? Can you think of any reasons that lying about someone else would ever be justified?
•Proverbs tells us that lying is one of the things God really hates. Why do you think He’s so passionate about not telling the truth?
•The tenth commandment talks about coveting. How would you define coveting?
•One definition for coveting could be to make a choice not to be content because you don’t have what someone else has. Why would God care so much whether we’re content or not, as long as we’re keeping all these other commands? [Parent: Be sure to emphasize that what this list shows, in part, is that God really cares that we are satisfied that He is the one who meets all of our needs, that we don’t need anything apart from what He gives to us. God wants our hearts to be fully satisfied with Him.]
•How are we doing as a family at following these commandments? If someone is able to keep them all, does that make them a better person? A better Christian? Good enough to get into heaven? Why or why not? [Parent: Be sure to emphasize that though God is pleased with our obedience, all of us have sinned. None of us can ever earn a place in heaven, because we can’t obey Him perfectly.]
•If someone has broken many—or all—of these commands, is that person doomed? [Parent: It would be great to end this conversation by emphasizing again that Jesus was doomed (or “crushed”) in the place of all who have broken these or other commands of God—and put their trust in Him to receive forgiveness for those sins.]
•So why does it matter so much that we try to obey God now? Why does it matter that we try to live like Jesus—with the help of the Holy Spirit?
Daily Prayer
Ask God to help your child to learn to set their hearts on things above, where Christ is. (See Colossians 3:1.)
Featured Resource: The Space Between
The changes and challenges of adolescence can leave many parents feeling overwhelmed at times with fear, confusion, frustration, and a lack of understanding. But here you’ll find hope to help you understand and effectively parent your teen. Dr. Walt Mueller brings more than 30 years of adolescent research (and his own parenting experience) to help you through the tumultuous years of adolescence.
http://www.realworldparents.com/store/item/the_space_between/
2. Learn Their Lingo
BION = Text message short for, "Believe it or not."
RAWK! = RAWK is the slang spelling of ROCK, originally used by metal fans. 1) RAWK is used to express joy, as in a rallying cry. 2) It can also mean congratulations.
3. Movie Reviews for Parents
500 Days of Summer
This non-linear romantic comedy brings lots of artful indie charm, has won over secular critics, and is likely to appeal to older teens. It finds…
Read Review:
http://www.realworldparents.com/movies/review/500_days_of_summer/
Ponyo
Master animator Hayao Miyazaki built his latest film on the structure of Hans Christian Anderson’s classic tale “The Little Mermaid.” But the story exists within…
Read Review:
http://www.realworldparents.com/movies/review/ponyo/
4. Links to Learn From
85% of those 18-23 who make a commitment to God did so before age 14 [Fuller Youth Institute]
http://fulleryouthinstitute.org/2009/08/the-85-statistic-is-back/
Why are coming of age movies about grown-ups now? [Washington Post]
http://www.mercurynews.com/movies/ci_13207099
Abercrombie & Fitch: Worst Recession Brand? [Time]
http://www.time.com/time/business/article/0,8599,1918160,00.html
5. A Little Encouragement...And Humor
Within the covers of the Bible are the answers for all the problems men face.
- Ronald Reagan
1. Tools for Parenting Teens
2. Learn Their Lingo
3. Movie Reviews
4. Links to Learn From
5. A Little Encouragement...And Humor
1. Tools for Parenting Teens
From http://www.realworldparents.com/starters/
The Ten Commandments
Why talk about the Ten Commandments with your son or daughter? It’s worth asking the question. After all, we’re trying to help our students to catch the idea that, as Christians, we are saved by grace and not by following the law—that our struggle with sin, including the big Ten, does not disqualify us from being loved by God if our faith is in Christ.
Unfortunately, the message many teens hear (right along with people of every age) is that our sin doesn’t really matter that much to God, after all. If forgiveness is given away for free to all who believe, some assume that what is forgiven is therefore not all that significant. We cannot over-emphasize the grace of God to our kids, but we can under-emphasize His revulsion to our sin.
That’s why we—and especially our kids—need to understand God’s standard for right and wrong in order to get how amazing His grace really is. The Ten Commandments is a good place to start talking about why God takes sin so seriously. These rules reveal who God is—what matters to Him and what He wants for His children.
We hope a few of the following questions will help you to have a productive conversation with your child about the Ten Commandments and the grace of God. You might find it helpful to read through Exodus 20:1-17 together. If you don’t have an opportunity to talk through the whole list, it would be easy to bring up any or all of the commandments—or even just the idea of the list—in smaller conversations as teachable moments present themselves.
Talking Points
•How many of the Ten Commandments can you name without looking? [Parent: Have the list ready to complete it together.]
•Do you remember the story of where and how God gave these ten rules to the Israelites? [Parent: Be prepared to sketch out the backstory from Exodus 19: It had been 3 months since the Israelites had crossed the Red Sea, escaping from Egypt. One of God’s first stops for them was at Mount Sinai, where He gave these commandments.]
•Do you think it’s important for Christians to know and understand the Ten Commandments? Why or why not?
•Is it worse for us to break these rules than to break others of God’s instructions in the Bible? What “happens to you” if you break one of these commands? Will God hate you or punish you? [Parent: Be sure to emphasize that we are all sinners and can be saved only by God’s grace and forgiveness through faith in Jesus. Help your child to understand that God’s forgiveness for those in Christ covers all of our sin.]
•If our Father has already forgiven our sin through our faith in Jesus’ death in our place on the cross—why does it matter that we know about the law? Does God really care if we keep sinning? [Parent: Check out Romans 5 and 6 for good answers to these questions if you want to go deeper.]
•What do the first two commands—no other gods and no idols—tell us about God? Why do you think He is so opposed to His people worshipping other gods or looking to other supernatural sources for help?
•Most people we know don’t worship actual idols they think of as gods. But what kinds of things do people in our culture tend to put ahead of god? What kinds of things do we turn to for help instead of God?
•Paul describes greed as idol worship (in Ephesians 5:5 and Colossians 3:5). How is wanting and trying to get things you don’t need like worshiping an idol?
•The third commandment warns against using God’s name in vain. His name has power. To use it in vain means to disrespect Him or to misuse His power. Do you think anyone takes this command seriously any more? How many people do you know who refuse to use God’s name in disrespectful or deceitful ways?
•What choices have you made about using God’s name or Jesus’ name for swearing or lying or condemning people? Some Christians don’t seem uncomfortable saying “oh my God” or “Jesus” when they’re excited or angry. Why do you think that is?
•“Remember the Sabbath day by keeping it holy” is the fourth command to the Israelites. It’s the only one on the list that New Testament Christians are not called to practice in exactly the same way. Why is that? [Parent: Be prepared to explain your understanding of the Sabbath and how your church addresses it.]
•Commandment 5 gets repeated almost exactly in Ephesians 6:1-3. What does it mean to you to honor your parents? Should it matter whether your parents deserve honor or not, according to God?
•Why do you think this command was important enough to make the list? Do you think it takes more faith in God for some people to obey this command than others? Why?
•Commands 6 - 8 are the simplest ones: Don’t murder. Don’t commit adultery. Don’t steal. Do you think God intended for there to be any exceptions to these commands? Why or why not?
•The ninth commandment deals with lying, specifically lying in a legal sense to hurt another person. Has anyone ever lied in a way that ended up hurting you? Can you think of any reasons that lying about someone else would ever be justified?
•Proverbs tells us that lying is one of the things God really hates. Why do you think He’s so passionate about not telling the truth?
•The tenth commandment talks about coveting. How would you define coveting?
•One definition for coveting could be to make a choice not to be content because you don’t have what someone else has. Why would God care so much whether we’re content or not, as long as we’re keeping all these other commands? [Parent: Be sure to emphasize that what this list shows, in part, is that God really cares that we are satisfied that He is the one who meets all of our needs, that we don’t need anything apart from what He gives to us. God wants our hearts to be fully satisfied with Him.]
•How are we doing as a family at following these commandments? If someone is able to keep them all, does that make them a better person? A better Christian? Good enough to get into heaven? Why or why not? [Parent: Be sure to emphasize that though God is pleased with our obedience, all of us have sinned. None of us can ever earn a place in heaven, because we can’t obey Him perfectly.]
•If someone has broken many—or all—of these commands, is that person doomed? [Parent: It would be great to end this conversation by emphasizing again that Jesus was doomed (or “crushed”) in the place of all who have broken these or other commands of God—and put their trust in Him to receive forgiveness for those sins.]
•So why does it matter so much that we try to obey God now? Why does it matter that we try to live like Jesus—with the help of the Holy Spirit?
Daily Prayer
Ask God to help your child to learn to set their hearts on things above, where Christ is. (See Colossians 3:1.)
Featured Resource: The Space Between
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2. Learn Their Lingo
BION = Text message short for, "Believe it or not."
RAWK! = RAWK is the slang spelling of ROCK, originally used by metal fans. 1) RAWK is used to express joy, as in a rallying cry. 2) It can also mean congratulations.
3. Movie Reviews for Parents
500 Days of Summer
This non-linear romantic comedy brings lots of artful indie charm, has won over secular critics, and is likely to appeal to older teens. It finds…
Read Review:
http://www.realworldparents.com/movies/review/500_days_of_summer/
Ponyo
Master animator Hayao Miyazaki built his latest film on the structure of Hans Christian Anderson’s classic tale “The Little Mermaid.” But the story exists within…
Read Review:
http://www.realworldparents.com/movies/review/ponyo/
4. Links to Learn From
85% of those 18-23 who make a commitment to God did so before age 14 [Fuller Youth Institute]
http://fulleryouthinstitute.org/2009/08/the-85-statistic-is-back/
Why are coming of age movies about grown-ups now? [Washington Post]
http://www.mercurynews.com/movies/ci_13207099
Abercrombie & Fitch: Worst Recession Brand? [Time]
http://www.time.com/time/business/article/0,8599,1918160,00.html
5. A Little Encouragement...And Humor
Within the covers of the Bible are the answers for all the problems men face.
- Ronald Reagan
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