Big Grace

Contents

1. Tools for Parenting Teens
2. Learn Their Lingo
3. Links to Learn From
4. A Little Encouragement...And Humor

1. Tools for Parenting Teens

From http://www.realworldparents.com/starters/

Big Grace

 

One of the challenges of parenting for Christians is that we want our kids to be as excited about God’s unbelievable grace and forgiveness as we are—but we still want them to perform. We pray they’ll be absolutely convinced that…
Read More:
http://www.realworldparents.com/starters/article/big_grace/

Featured Resource: Boundaries with Teens

In this exciting new book, Dr. Townsend gives important keys for establishing healthy boundaries—the bedrock of good relationships, maturity, safety, and growth for teens and the adults in their lives. The book offers help in raising your teens to take responsibility for their actions, attitudes, and emotions.
http://www.realworldparents.com/store/item/boundaries_with_teens/

2. Learn Their Lingo

Automagically = something that happens automatically, but that also has some mysterious, "magical" element to it. "Smart" appliances, features, etc. that do intelligent things with less help than you might expect
Mantrum = when a grown man throws a tantrum when he can't have his way

3. Links to Learn From

Fort Hood Shooting: Five tips to help parents talk to their kids about violence in the news
http://www.examiner.com/x-14708-Toddlers-to-Teens-Examiner~y2009m11d6-Fort-Hood-Shooting-Five-tips-to-help-parents-talk-to-their-kids-about-violence-in-the-news
Teenage pregnancy does not discriminate
http://www.timesunion.com/AspStories/story.asp?storyID=861929&category=OPINION
Hunger in America: Half of Our Kids on Food Stamps
http://chattahbox.com/us/2009/11/03/hunger-in-america-half-of-our-kids-on-food-stamps/

4. A Little Encouragement...And Humor

As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them.
- John Fitzgerald Kennedy

When God Changes The Plan

Contents

1.Tools for Parenting Teens
2.Learn Their Lingo
3.Links to Learn From
4.A Little Encouragement...And Humor
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

1. Tools for Parenting Teens
From http://www.realworldparents.com/starters/
When God Changes the Plan


Does your family live and die by a schedule or is constant, spontaneous change of direction the norm in your household? Both approaches to life offer advantages and disadvantages and reflect our own personalities as parents.

And depending on the personality of our kids, they may feel frustrated and insecure by even slight changes in the expected routine—or bored nearly to death by a rigid commitment not to violate the communicated schedule.

Whatever we personally feel more comfortable with, part of maturing as a Christian involves growing in our ability to trust God when He steps in and changes our plans. We hope to equip our kids with the tools to begin to do so, as well.

We’re pulling our talking points this week from Mark 6:30-44. Jesus and the disciples had a very reasonable plan to go off by themselves and get some rest. Instead, they ended up in another marathon ministry session that led to a food crisis and what felt like unreasonable expectations from Jesus to fix it.

You know the story of the feeding of the 5,000. We hope a few of these questions will help you to talk with your kids about that story—and how to expect God to always give us the resources we need to do what He asks even when it is unexpected.

Talking Points

•Which do you feel most comfortable with—having a set schedule where you know what to expect or being spontaneous and changing plans as you go along? Why do you prefer one or the other?

•How do you think our family tends to operate—mostly according to plan or mostly changing the plan as we go along? Do you like the way we tend to operate or does it sometimes frustrate you?

•Do you think one approach is necessarily better than the other or is it mostly about personality and what each of us prefers?

•Sometimes we have plans to do things—good things—and then they get changed by circumstances beyond our control. How frustrating is that for you? Can you think of a time recently when that happened?

•Do you ever wonder if God is involved in changing those plans for us? Can you think of reasons He would step in and redirect us from what we set out to do?

•Mark 6 tells a story about Jesus and the disciples when they had a plan to go off to a quiet place by themselves and get some rest. Instead, the crowds of people found them and Jesus decided to change the plan and keep teaching. How would you have felt about this, do you think, if you were one of the tired disciples?

•Can you think of times when we changed our plans as a family to help someone in need? How did you feel about that at the time?

•The spontaneous change of plans created a problem. People were hungry and there wasn’t much food nearby. Can you think of a time when an unexpected change of plan caused a problem for our family that needed fixing?

•How do we usually think about those kinds of problems—as a hassle or as an opportunity to see how God will help us fix it?

•The disciples came up with a good plan to fix the problem: Send the people away to go get themselves some food. Instead, Jesus asked the disciples to feed the people with almost no food. Does that command sound unreasonable to you?

•It would have been understandable for the disciples to have a bad attitude about Jesus asking them to do an impossible thing—especially at the end of day when all of their plans had been changed. Do you think that would have made it okay to have a bad attitude about it?

•What would the disciples have missed out on if they had refused to participate because of their disappointment, tiredness, and sense of unfair treatment? [Parent: Emphasize that the disciples would have missed out on seeing God do something truly miraculous right in front of their eyes.]

•God is always working, even in our ordinary everyday lives. Will we miss noticing what He’s up to if we can’t “handle” an unexpected change of plans and the new problems it might create?

•What can we do as a family to avoid getting negative and to help each other look for what God is up to when our plans get changed?

Daily Prayer

Ask God to help your child to respond with compassion and servanthood to the needs of others. (See Mark 6:34.)

Featured Resource: Boundaries with Teens
In this exciting new book, Dr. Townsend gives important keys for establishing healthy boundaries—the bedrock of good relationships, maturity, safety, and growth for teens and the adults in their lives. The book offers help in raising your teens to take responsibility for their actions, attitudes, and emotions.
http://www.realworldparents.com/store/item/boundaries_with_teens/
2. Learn Their Lingo

Automagically = something that happens automatically, but that also has some mysterious, "magical" element to it. "Smart" appliances, features, etc. that do intelligent things with less help than you might expect

Mantrum = when a grown man throws a tantrum when he can't have his way

3. Links to Learn From

Fort Hood Shooting: Five tips to help parents talk to their kids about violence in the news
http://www.examiner.com/x-14708-Toddlers-to-Teens-Examiner~y2009m11d6-Fort-Hood-Shooting-Five-tips-to-help-parents-talk-to-their-kids-about-violence-in-the-news

Teenage pregnancy does not discriminate
http://www.timesunion.com/AspStories/story.asp?storyID=861929&category=OPINION
Hunger in America: Half of Our Kids on Food Stamps

http://chattahbox.com/us/2009/11/03/hunger-in-america-half-of-our-kids-on-food-stamps/

4. A Little Encouragement...And Humor

As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them.

- John Fitzgerald Kennedy

Talk About Praise

Contents

1.Tools for Parenting Teens
2.Learn Their Lingo
3.Links to Learn From
4.A Little Encouragement...And Humor

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

1. Tools for Parenting Teens
From http://www.realworldparents.com/starters/

Talk About Praise

You likely experience praising God together with your family regularly at church. But how often do you talk about that experience? Why do we do it? Why does God care? What does it do for us and for Him?


I was reminded at church this week that so much of our education about who God is and what matters to Him comes during times of singing praise and worship songs in church. The mom sitting in the row behind me was telling her curious pre-schooler the name of each song and a line about what it meant: “God’s love is big!”

I grew up singing hymns and praise songs in church from before I could talk. I eventually realized as a young teen that some of the songs I’d been singing my whole life didn’t make sense to me. But the more I learned about the Bible, the more I understood how those words I’d been singing fit into everything I believed. The songs started to matter more.

We’re pulling our talking points about praising God from Psalm 66 this week. We hope a few of questions below might help you to have a productive conversation with your child about how we praise God and why it matters.

Talking Points

•Do you enjoy our time of singing praise and worship songs together as a church? Why or why not?

•What do you like most about it?

•What do you like least about it, if anything?

•What are a few of your favorite songs that we sing?

•What do you think singing those praise and worship songs does for us as Christians? How does it help us in our relationship with God? How does it help us to live better for Him or closer to Him? [Parent: Emphasize that we are commanded to praise God and that doing so helps us to draw closer to Him. It also reminds us of what is “real,” that He is God and every good thing comes from Him.]

•Do you think our singing of worship and praise songs does anything for God? Does He benefit from our sincere worship and praise? [Parent: Emphasize that yes, God cares about and responds to our worship. Some Bible verses you could look at together include James 4:8; Psalm 22:3; Psalm 103:2; Hebrews 11:6.]

•When David praises God in the Psalms, he often talks about shouting and being loud. Do you think we’re loud enough when we praise God together at church? Why or why not? What’s the point of being loud? [Parent: See Psalm 66:1-2.]

•In the Psalms, David often praises God for specific things about God that are great, like His power or mercy. What are some other great things about God we can praise Him for?

•Another thing David does in the Psalms is that he notices and describes great things God has done for him or Israel—and then David brings those things up again and again to talk about how good God is. What are some great things God has done for our family that we can remember and talk about when we praise Him?

•In the middle of praising God for the good things He has done for Israel in Psalm 66, David mentions that God tested them, “brought us into prison and laid burdens on our backs” and then “brought us into a place of abundance.” Why do you think David would praise God for taking his people into and out of a terrible time? [Parent: God’s grace to us includes using the hard times in our lives to bring us closer to Him—and He deserves our praise for that, too.]

•Of course we can praise God silently in our hearts and minds as an act of personal worship. But Psalms 66 encourages us to praise God out loud to each other. Why do you think that matters? [Parent: Emphasize that praising God to each other encourages us all to praise Him more.]

Daily Prayer
Ask God to help your child to keep remembering the works He has done on their behalf and to keep rejoicing in Him. (See Psalm 66:5-6.)
Featured Resource: Boundaries with Teens


In this exciting new book, Dr. Townsend gives important keys for establishing healthy boundaries—the bedrock of good relationships, maturity, safety, and growth for teens and the adults in their lives. The book offers help in raising your teens to take responsibility for their actions, attitudes, and emotions.
http://www.realworldparents.com/store/item/boundaries_with_teens/

2. Learn Their Lingo

Automagically = something that happens automatically, but that also has some mysterious, "magical" element to it. "Smart" appliances, features, etc. that do intelligent things with less help than you might expect.

Mantrum = when a grown man throws a tantrum when he can't have his way.

3. Links to Learn From

Fort Hood Shooting: Five tips to help parents talk to their kids about violence in the news
http://www.examiner.com/x-14708-Toddlers-to-Teens-Examiner~y2009m11d6-Fort-Hood-Shooting-Five-tips-to-help-parents-talk-to-their-kids-about-violence-in-the-news

Teenage pregnancy does not discriminate
http://www.timesunion.com/AspStories/story.asp?storyID=861929&category=OPINION

Hunger in America: Half of Our Kids on Food Stamps
http://chattahbox.com/us/2009/11/03/hunger-in-america-half-of-our-kids-on-food-stamps/

4. A Little Encouragement...And Humor

As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them.

- John Fitzgerald Kennedy

What are you going to be?

Contents

1.Tools for Parenting Teens
2.Learn Their Lingo
3.Links to Learn From
4.A Little Encouragement...And Humor
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

1. Tools for Parenting Teens
From http://www.realworldparents.com/starters/

What Are You Going to Be?


However your family responds to the cultural event that is Halloween, younger kids will be hearing the question all week long this week: “What are you going to be?”

Kids old enough to choose seem to pick costumes based on one of three factors. Either they want something scary. Or they want something funny. Or—more often for younger kids—they want to dress up like one of their role models or dream roles.

Athletes. Fire fighters. Princesses. Fictional heroes or villains. They want to inhabit the person or persona they dream of becoming—even if that role model changes several times each day.

In a way, the Bible encourages this kind of lifestyle role playing. The essence of Christianity is that we are growing to become like Jesus, we are to put on His qualities because we are becoming Him.

But Paul also told his readers to imitate his own life in their beliefs and choices. And at the end of Colossians 4, he presented his entourage, naming eight or so of the guys who were with him in ministry to hold them up as role models of faithful service to Christ.

Our prayer as parents isn’t just that our kids won’t take off after unworthy role models, but that they will get attached to the good ones—and that’s what we’re looking for a chance to talk to them about this week.

Talking Points

•When you were younger, who were some of your biggest heroes? Was there anyone you really liked to dress up as and pretend to be for a while?

•Who would you say are your role models or heroes right now? Who are some of the people you know—or people you don’t know—that seem to have the life you’d really like to have someday? [Parent: This would be a great time to talk about some of the heroes and role models you had when you were younger.]

•How do you think most people choose their role models? What really attracts us to want to be like someone?

•Take your top two or three favorite role models or people or personalities: What do you like best about them? What qualities do they have that you would like to get better at in your own life?

•Have you noticed with your friends that role models can sometimes have a bad influence on people? How could a role model become a negative in a person’s life?

•Philippians 2 tells us to take on the heart and mind of Jesus. Paul wrote that his readers should try to imitate the way he followed Jesus. And Peter told younger Christians to learn from older mentors. Who in your life that you know personally might count as a mentor or a role model?

•What about that person do you find interesting or challenging or attractive? What qualities do they have that you hope to have one day?

•Who are some people you know—even if you’ve just met them once or twice—who seem to have a really genuine faith in Jesus that shows up in their lives in a real, meaningful, and attractive way?

•Can you separate what you take away from role models into different categories? Can you study the life of a good athlete to learn how to get better at that sport and also study the life of a good Christian mentor to learn how to get better at following Christ?

•What are the down sides of getting too attached to one person or another as a role model? [Parent: Emphasize that all people make mistakes, that if we’re most concerned with following people we can end up following them off the path of Jesus.]

•What is the advantage to finding successful people in our lives to use as a pattern for making good choices? [Parent: Emphasize that if our main goal is to follow Jesus, good role models can help us learn the everyday skills involved in following Him.]

Daily Prayer

Ask God to convict your child of any outstanding sin they have committed against another person and to give them the courage, humility, and opportunity to make it right. (See Colossians 4:9.)

Featured Resource: Boundaries with Teens
In this exciting new book, Dr. Townsend gives important keys for establishing healthy boundaries—the bedrock of good relationships, maturity, safety, and growth for teens and the adults in their lives. The book offers help in raising your teens to take responsibility for their actions, attitudes, and emotions.
http://www.realworldparents.com/store/item/boundaries_with_teens/
2. Learn Their Lingo
Last Texter = That friend that always sends you a meaningless text after the obvious end of a text conversation, just to get the last text.

KPC = Text shorthand meaning "keep parents clueless."

3. Links to Learn From
Up Close & Personal with Lisa T. Bergren
http://www.christianitytoday.com/momsense/2009/sepoct/upcloseandpersonal-lisatbergren.html

Study Reveals More Details About The iPhone Mom
http://www.techcrunch.com/2009/10/26/study-reveals-more-details-about-behavior-of-the-iphone-mom/

“Say Aah” …and, “What’s in Your iPod?”
http://www.thesource4ym.com/youthculturewindow/article.asp?id=99

4. A Little Encouragement...And Humor
Reputation is what men and women think of us; character is what God and angels know of us.
- Thomas Paine

The Foolish Joy of Mocking

Contents

1.Tools for Parenting Teens
2.Learn Their Lingo
3.Links to Learn From
4.A Little Encouragement...And Humor


1. Tools for Parenting Teens
From http://www.realworldparents.com/starters/

The Foolish Joy of Mocking

See these verses from Psalms and Proverbs to understand a little more about the Bible’s perspective on “mocking.” As you read, remember that “mocking” in Scripture means more than just teasing or mimicking others. Mocking is a habit of regularly putting down people and ideas, including God and the things of God.


Many students fall into the habit of mocking as a way for covering up their own insecurity. Afraid of looking stupid, some will mock others before they can become the victim. Eventually, the habit can become a lifestyle.
•Psalm 1:1
•Proverbs 1:20, 22
•Proverbs 9:8
•Proverbs 15:12
•Proverbs 9:12
•Proverbs 21:24

Talking Points

•Do you know people who seem to put others down all the time? Are they funny? Are they well liked?

•What would you say is the difference between occasional teasing for fun-and regularly putting people down (even if it’s really funny)?

•What does the word “mocking” mean to you?

•Is it wrong to make fun of people or ideas (if it’s more than just kidding around)? Can kidding around in a mocking way sometimes hurt someone’s feelings?

•Have you ever thought of mocking or even really good put-downs as a kind of pride? How is mocking the opposite of being humble?

•Do you know people who seem to be able to get everyone in arguments with each other? Is it easier when that person isn’t around?

•Do you think mocking others is wise or foolish?

•How can we work at not making a habit out of mocking?

Daily Prayer

Ask God to help your child to grow wise in exercising self-control. (See Proverbs 25:28)

Featured Resource: Boundaries with Teens


In this exciting new book, Dr. Townsend gives important keys for establishing healthy boundaries—the bedrock of good relationships, maturity, safety, and growth for teens and the adults in their lives. The book offers help in raising your teens to take responsibility for their actions, attitudes, and emotions.
http://www.realworldparents.com/store/item/boundaries_with_teens/


2. Learn Their Lingo

GMAS = Acronym for give me a second.

Caraoke = Singing along with music in a car, especially loudly and passionately.

4. Links to Learn From

140 Characters of Parenting Insight [YS Blog]
http://www.youthspecialties.com/blog/2009/140-characters-of-parenting-insight-2/
Teen Sex Escalation [The Source for Youth Ministry]
http://www.thesource4ym.com/youthculturewindow/article.asp?id=96

While Adolescents May Reason As Well As Adults, Their Emotional Maturity Lags…[Science Daily]
http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2009/10/091007153745.htm

5. A Little Encouragement...And Humor

Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body.

One Way or the Other

Contents

1.Tools for Parenting Teens
2.Learn Their Lingo
3.Movie Reviews
4.Links to Learn From
5.A Little Encouragement...And Humor

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
1. Tools for Parenting Teens
From http://www.realworldparents.com/starters/

One Way or the Other


Like all of us when faced with options, kids will often try to find a way to have the best of all possible worlds. “Yes, I want A and then I want B. What do you mean I have to choose? Let’s just do it all.”

Sounds familiar? It’s a human trait and one teens, especially, are encouraged to indulge when it comes to making commitments. The only way to make everyone happy, to not miss out anything good, is to say yes to everything.

In addition to creating stress for kids and parents alike, this approach to life becomes impossible on a spiritual level when the choices we face are to maintain our commitment to Christ or to live in rebellion to the Word of God. We all attempt it, sometimes, but busy students can become expert at compartmentalizing rebellion and worship, disobedience and devotion.

In one sphere, they can seem to truly understand and enjoy serving God and talking about their faith in Him and then flip the switch when it’s time to “stand in the seat of scorners” with friends on a different path, friends not interested in the way of Christ.

We’re drawing our conversation points this week from Psalm 1, where David makes clear that we can’t walk both paths at the same time. Not only can we not fool God about our false sincerity, we will miss the physical and emotional blessings that come with faithful commitment to Him.

The big idea is this: Our happiness—or blessedness—is found in choosing God’s way. We hope a few of these questions might help you talk about that idea with your kids.

Talking Points
•When is it hardest for you to choose between two different options? Would you say you make decisions pretty quickly or do you feel like you really have to weigh all of the options to figure out the best thing?

•Is it easier sometimes not to choose—just to do everything or do nothing to skip having to make a decision? How does that usually work out?

•What kinds of things would you say make you feel the happiest in your life? What kinds of choices cause you to feel the least happy?

•One definition of the word “blessed” in Psalm 1:1 is “happy.” It says blessing comes to the person who makes a choice NOT to walk, stand, or sit with people who are disobeying or rejecting God. Can you think of any people or groups of people in your life really known for disobeying or rejecting God?

•What do imagine would be the consequences of hanging out with that group of people, of doing what they do and thinking the way they think? What impact do you think that would have on your sense of being blessed or happy?

•Have you noticed any of your friends that seem to try to avoid deciding between following Jesus and being accepted by a group of friends who don’t honor God? What are the consequences of trying to belong in both of those worlds at the same time?

•Is it easier to just kind of go along with whatever group you’re with? Why or why not?

•David describes in Psalm 1 some of the ways that God provides for those who choose to walk in His way. One benefit is that God provides for His children in all kinds of different ways. What are some of the ways that God provides for you?

•Do you ever think of yourself as being delighted or excited about God’s Word? Once sign of being excited about the Bible is to spend time thinking about it. Is there anything we can do to get more excited about what God tells us in the Bible? What would be the benefits of enjoying God’s Word instead of just having to study it like a textbook?

•According to Psalm 1, one consequence for people who reject God completely is that they get “blown away” like bits of plants that have no roots. What are your roots connected to, spiritually speaking? What keeps you connected to God?

•What do you have to offer friends and family members who seem to be rejecting God? What do they have to offer you?

Daily Prayer
Ask God to help your child to refuse to walk in the counsel of the wicked. (See Psalm 1:1.)

Featured Resource: Sacred Parenting
Explore the spiritual dynamics of parenting, and why caring for children is such an effective discipline in shaping our souls and forming the character of Christ within us.
http://www.realworldparents.com/store/item/sacred_parenting/

2. Learn Their Lingo
Frenemy = An enemy disguised as a friend.

Kind of a big deal = A term for a person who is facetiously joking about how important/cool/awesome they are.

3. Movie Reviews for Parents
Fame
Thirty years ago, the original “Fame” was built on the idea that talented kids could take their shot at glory by working with everything they…
Read Review:
http://www.realworldparents.com/movies/review/fame/
Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs
Based on the popular kids’ book, the movie version is a very different experience from that charming story. Wildly inventive, colorful and funny, it will…
Read Review:
http://www.realworldparents.com/movies/review/cloudy_with_a_chance_of_meatballs/

4. Links to Learn From
Smacking Makes Children Naughtier [Telegraph U.K.]
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/health/healthnews/6188692/Smacking-makes-children-naughtier-research.html

Reading and Writing Must Be a Priority [SmartBrief.com]
http://www.smartbrief.com/news/ascd/storyDetails.jsp?issueid=1EFBA3A0-48F5-4FAF-9FA2-7968350229B3©id=6DE78BF4-3E0C-44B9-AC50-91CE01674BBD

5. A Little Encouragement...And Humor

Where there is love, there is pain.

- Spanish Proverb

Are Teens Too Sleepy?

Are Teens Too Sleepy?


Mark tweeted on this fascinating article by Maria Christensen in Seattle about teens, sleep, and school start times suggesting students would do better in school and life if we’d just let them stay in the sack until, oh, 9 a.m. or so. Here’s the key quote:

What this means for teens in terms of school is that teenagers are getting up earlier than biology would dictate in order to get to school on time, and that is having a major affect on their lives. Mary Carskadon, professor of psychiatry and human behavior at Brown University and director of chronobiology and sleep research at E.P. Bradley Hospital in Providence, R.I., notes in an interview with Frontline that “teenagers are really put in a kind of a gray cloud when they aren’t having enough sleep. It affects both their mood and their ability to think and their ability to perform and react appropriately. So we have kids out there who struggle to stay awake while driving, who could do better at sports if they could react more quickly, who are feeling blue and having trouble getting along with the adults in their environment, and also who are struggling to learn in the classroom.”

This stands in stark contrast to the conventional wisdom most parents of teens would like to apply to their kids from Proverbs 6:9: “How long will you lie there, you sluggard? When will you get up from your sleep?”

But maybe we need to give a little more grace about the classic late night/early morning power struggle. Personally, my small Christian high school didn’t start classes until 8:45 a.m. back in the day—and that was enough to convince me of the value of staying away from the public school option that started classes before 7:30 a.m. (I’m sure my parents based their decision on more profound considerations.)

What’s your approach to getting them up in the morning? Does your school day start too early? Too late? Too groggy? What does wisdom have to say to your student about going to bed and getting up “in the way they should go”?


Daily Prayer

Ask God to help your family with proper balance and rest.

When God Waits

Contents
1.Tools for Parenting Teens
2.Learn Their Lingo
3.Movie Reviews
4.Links to Learn From
5.A Little Encouragement...And Humor
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
1. Tools for Parenting Teens
From http://www.realworldparents.com/starters/

When God Waits


One of the most difficult questions for Christian parents to answer is, “Why did God let this happen?” At issue may be the death of a loved one or a pet or any devastating loss deeply felt. If God is good and powerful and loving, why didn’t He step in? Why didn’t He stop it?
It can be a faith-challenging question for all of us. Even the good answers—the right answers—don’t always provide all of the comfort we’re looking for. Still, we know our God is trustworthy and that He truly loves us, and we’d like to communicate that assurance to our kids.

We’re going to approach the question this week from the perspective of John 11 and Jesus’ resurrection of Lazarus from the dead. In that story, Jesus is aware that His good friend is dying and He purposefully takes no action until it is “too late.” Jesus is saddened by the loss—and the pain felt by Mary and Martha—but He is also aware that He is serving a great purpose and the good of all involved by not stopping Lazarus from dying.

We hope a few of the questions below are helpful to you in beginning a conversation with your child about God’s goodness even when He doesn’t act as we expect or in accordance with our wishes. You might find it helpful to read through the story together in John 11:1-44.

[NOTE: This is the first of two parts. We will conclude the talking points about this chapter in next week’s Conversation Starters.]

Talking Points

•Have you ever wondered why God seemed not to answer one of your prayers—or why He said no?

•Why do you think God sometimes says no to requests for things that seem like they would be good for everyone?

•Does the existence of evil or the reality of great suffering ever make you question whether God is reliable? Or good? Or powerful? Or loving?

•Do you think God cares how we feel about His responses to our prayers or our pain?

•How much do you remember about the story of Jesus raising Lazarus from the dead? [Parent: Consider suggesting that the two of you read John 11 together.]

•John 11 tells us that Jesus loved Lazarus and his sisters Mary and Martha. Are you convinced that God loves you? [Parent: Try to reinforce the idea that God proved His love for your child by sending Jesus to die for them, in addition to the many other good gifts He has provided.]

•Jesus got the message from Mary and Martha. He knew Lazarus was sick. How can you be sure that God hears your prayers and knows what’s going on with you? [Parent: You might use Romans 8:26-27 to help answer this question. God’s Spirit communicates to Him perfectly our requests. We can be confident He hears us.]

•Jesus made the choice to wait to go to Lazarus and his sisters until after Lazarus was dead. In your own words, why do you think He did that? [Parent: In John 11, Jesus gives several reasons, including a plan to bring glory to God and to help others believe in God’s power in Him.]

•Do you think Jesus was making a choice between helping the people He cared about and fulfilling His own plans? Why or why not? [Parent: Try to emphasize the idea that God does not have to choose between helping those He loves and accomplishing His plan. You can use Romans 8:28 to show that He does both at the same time, even if His plan for us isn’t the one we would always choose ourselves.]

•Jesus’ disciples didn’t understand why, if Lazarus was already dead, Jesus would risk His life to go to a place where He would likely be killed —but they agreed to go with Him, anyway. How hard is it to trust that God knows what He’s doing when life feels dangerous? What makes it easier to trust Him? [Parent: Think about using John 11:9-10 to show that we are never safer than when walking in the daylight of God’s will—even if it feels really dark from our point of view.]

•Jesus tells the disciples He’s glad He wasn’t there to save Lazarus so they could believe. Is it a weird idea that God might sometimes not answer our prayers in the way we hope in order to help our faith grow? Can you think of an example of that happening in your life? [Parent: It might help for you to think of a time when getting what you wanted would have turned out to be much worse than what God ended up providing.]

•Martha tells Jesus that if He had been there, Lazarus would have lived—but that she also knows God will give Jesus whatever He asks. How can our disappointment with God’s answers to our prayers also be a way of showing that we believe in Him? [Parent: Help explain that our disappointment with God’s choices shows that we believe He is powerful enough to have stepped in and changed our circumstances. Disappointment doesn’t have to be evidence that we don’t trust God.]

•In your own words, how would you describe Jesus’ message of salvation? Now, let’s read how He puts it—and Martha’s statement of Christian belief—John 11:25-27.

•In your own words, how would you say we can know that God loves us and that He is powerful, good, and trustworthy—even when He doesn’t answer our prayers in the way we hope He would?

Daily Prayer

Ask God to help your child to run to Him even with their hardest questions and biggest doubts. (See John 11:28-32.)

Featured Resource: Sacred Parenting
Explore the spiritual dynamics of parenting, and why caring for children is such an effective discipline in shaping our souls and forming the character of Christ within us.
Save 20% off the retail price of “Sacred Parenting” when you use Coupon Code YPN391 and order by 9/30/09
http://www.realworldparents.com/store/item/sacred_parenting/

2. Learn Their Lingo

Frenemy = An enemy disguised as a friend.

Kind of a big deal = A term for a person who is facetiously joking about how important/cool/awesome they are.

3. Movie Reviews for Parents

Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs
Based on the popular kids’ book, the movie version is a very different experience from that charming story. Wildly inventive, colorful and funny, it will…
Read Review:
http://www.realworldparents.com/movies/review/cloudy_with_a_chance_of_meatballs/

I Can Do Bad All By Myself
Tyler Perry has quickly become one of our most successful filmmakers. His usually urban stories lean toward the melodramatic, walking the line between comedy and…
Read Review:
http://www.realworldparents.com/movies/review/i_can_do_bad_all_by_myself/

4. Links to Learn From

Smacking Makes Children Naughtier [Telegraph U.K.]
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/health/healthnews/6188692/Smacking-makes-children-naughtier-research.html

Reading and Writing Must Be a Priority [SmartBrief.com]
http://www.smartbrief.com/news/ascd/storyDetails.jsp?issueid=1EFBA3A0-48F5-4FAF-9FA2-7968350229B3©id=6DE78BF4-3E0C-44B9-AC50-91CE01674BBD

5. A Little Encouragement...And Humor

Where there is love, there is pain.

- Spanish Proverb

When God Waits

Contents


1.Tools for Parenting Teens
2.Learn Their Lingo
3.Movie Reviews
4.Links to Learn From
5.A Little Encouragement...And Humor
-------------------------------------------------------------------

1. Tools for Parenting Teens
From http://www.realworldparents.com/starters/

When God Waits

One of the most difficult questions for Christian parents to answer is, “Why did God let this happen?” At issue may be the death of a loved one or a pet or any devastating loss deeply felt. If God is good and powerful and loving, why didn’t He step in? Why didn’t He stop it?


It can be a faith-challenging question for all of us. Even the good answers—the right answers—don’t always provide all of the comfort we’re looking for. Still, we know our God is trustworthy and that He truly loves us, and we’d like to communicate that assurance to our kids.

We’re going to approach the question this week from the perspective of John 11 and Jesus’ resurrection of Lazarus from the dead. In that story, Jesus is aware that His good friend is dying and He purposefully takes no action until it is “too late.” Jesus is saddened by the loss—and the pain felt by Mary and Martha—but He is also aware that He is serving a great purpose and the good of all involved by not stopping Lazarus from dying.

We hope a few of the questions below are helpful to you in beginning a conversation with your child about God’s goodness even when He doesn’t act as we expect or in accordance with our wishes. You might find it helpful to read through the story together in John 11:1-44.

[NOTE: This is the first of two parts. We will conclude the talking points about this chapter in next week’s Conversation Starters.]

Talking Points

•Have you ever wondered why God seemed not to answer one of your prayers—or why He said no?

•Why do you think God sometimes says no to requests for things that seem like they would be good for everyone?

•Does the existence of evil or the reality of great suffering ever make you question whether God is reliable? Or good? Or powerful? Or loving?

•Do you think God cares how we feel about His responses to our prayers or our pain?

•How much do you remember about the story of Jesus raising Lazarus from the dead? [Parent: Consider suggesting that the two of you read John 11 together.]

•John 11 tells us that Jesus loved Lazarus and his sisters Mary and Martha. Are you convinced that God loves you? [Parent: Try to reinforce the idea that God proved His love for your child by sending Jesus to die for them, in addition to the many other good gifts He has provided.]

•Jesus got the message from Mary and Martha. He knew Lazarus was sick. How can you be sure that God hears your prayers and knows what’s going on with you? [Parent: You might use Romans 8:26-27 to help answer this question. God’s Spirit communicates to Him perfectly our requests. We can be confident He hears us.]

•Jesus made the choice to wait to go to Lazarus and his sisters until after Lazarus was dead. In your own words, why do you think He did that? [Parent: In John 11, Jesus gives several reasons, including a plan to bring glory to God and to help others believe in God’s power in Him.]

•Do you think Jesus was making a choice between helping the people He cared about and fulfilling His own plans? Why or why not? [Parent: Try to emphasize the idea that God does not have to choose between helping those He loves and accomplishing His plan. You can use Romans 8:28 to show that He does both at the same time, even if His plan for us isn’t the one we would always choose ourselves.]

•Jesus’ disciples didn’t understand why, if Lazarus was already dead, Jesus would risk His life to go to a place where He would likely be killed —but they agreed to go with Him, anyway. How hard is it to trust that God knows what He’s doing when life feels dangerous? What makes it easier to trust Him? [Parent: Think about using John 11:9-10 to show that we are never safer than when walking in the daylight of God’s will—even if it feels really dark from our point of view.]

•Jesus tells the disciples He’s glad He wasn’t there to save Lazarus so they could believe. Is it a weird idea that God might sometimes not answer our prayers in the way we hope in order to help our faith grow? Can you think of an example of that happening in your life? [Parent: It might help for you to think of a time when getting what you wanted would have turned out to be much worse than what God ended up providing.]

•Martha tells Jesus that if He had been there, Lazarus would have lived—but that she also knows God will give Jesus whatever He asks. How can our disappointment with God’s answers to our prayers also be a way of showing that we believe in Him? [Parent: Help explain that our disappointment with God’s choices shows that we believe He is powerful enough to have stepped in and changed our circumstances. Disappointment doesn’t have to be evidence that we don’t trust God.]

•In your own words, how would you describe Jesus’ message of salvation? Now, let’s read how He puts it—and Martha’s statement of Christian belief—John 11:25-27.

•In your own words, how would you say we can know that God loves us and that He is powerful, good, and trustworthy—even when He doesn’t answer our prayers in the way we hope He would?

Daily Prayer

Thank God that your believing child can be called a friend of Jesus. (See John 11:1-3.)


Featured Resource: Sacred Parenting

Explore the spiritual dynamics of parenting, and why caring for children is such an effective discipline in shaping our souls and forming the character of Christ within us.


Save 20% off the retail price of “Sacred Parenting” when you use Coupon Code YPN391 and order by 9/30/09
http://www.realworldparents.com/store/item/sacred_parenting/
2. Learn Their Lingo

Afterclap = That last person/people who keep(s) clapping after everyone else has stopped.
mascary = When a person wears a scary amount of mascara

3. Movie Reviews for Parents

9
This dark, post-apocalyptic tale began as an 11-minute short film by a UCLA animation student. The wildly original story is built on a very spiritual…
Read Review:
http://www.realworldparents.com/movies/review/nine/


All About Steve

In spite of a likable cast, very few recent films have annoyed secular critics as much as “All About Steve.” We can’t disagree. But if…
Read Review:
http://www.realworldparents.com/movies/review/all_about_steve/


4. Links to Learn From

Girls and Dieting, Then and Now [Wall Street Journal]
http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052970204731804574386822245731710.html

Better News, but Retail Prospects Are Still Dim [New York Times]
http://www.nytimes.com/2009/09/02/business/economy/02shop.html?_r=1&hp

Survey: Parents overestimate role in teens’ sex education [Austin-American Statesman]
http://www.statesman.com/news/content/news/stories/local/2009/09/02/0902teensex.html


5. A Little Encouragement...And Humor

Take the first step in faith. You don't have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step.

- Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

Jesus In Their Shoes

Contents



1.Tools for Parenting Teens
2.Learn Their Lingo
3.Movie Reviews
4.Links to Learn From
5.A Little Encouragement...And Humor


1. Tools for Parenting Teens
From http://www.realworldparents.com/starters/

Jesus in Their Shoes

We’re continuing the conversation we started last week about what it means for our kids to take on the identity of Jesus Christ in their corner of the world. It’s a big, biblical idea that feels really weird for a few reasons.
For one thing, some of the world’s loudest messages are that we should all become better versions of ourselves. Instead, we’re hoping to help our kids trade themselves in to become more and more like Jesus—to take on His I.D. as their own.
In a sense, we want to help them to imagine how He would live their lives if He was in their shoes. How would He act in their group of friends? How would He handle their part-time job? How would He respond to our own less-than-perfect parenting?
The answers to some of those questions—and how to move ourselves closer to living that way in our own lives—is found in Colossians 3:12-17. That’s where we’re pulling our talking point from this week. Hopefully, a few of these questions will help you and your child to talk through some of these big ideas together.
Talking Points

•How do you think God sees you right now? What do you think He thinks of you?

•Why do you think He feels that way?

•How do you think He sees or thinks about Jesus? Would it surprise you to know that the Father thinks about you in the same way He does Jesus?

•In Colossians 3:12, Paul writes that God sees us as “chosen,” “holy” (set apart for something special), and “dearly loved.” Do you understand why God cares so deeply about you and me?

•What do you think God cares more about—that we stop sinning or that we start doing the good things Jesus would do in our shoes? [Parent: Emphasize that God cares most that we live like Jesus; He’s working right now to make us like Chris in every way.]

•In Colossians 3:13, Paul lists five characteristics Christians should “put on” as we put on clothes. How would you define these five things in your own words: compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, patience? [Parent: Emphasize that each of these five things involves taking our minds off of ourselves and putting them on others.]

•In your own words, how would you describe how God has forgiven you? Did you deserve to be forgiven? Why do you think He forgave you?

•Colossians 3:13 tells us to forgive each other in the same way that God has forgiven us. Do you think we think of ourselves as forgiven people? Why or why not?

•How does thinking of ourselves as forgiven help us to forgive others and be more like Jesus?

•Would you describe our home as a peaceful place? Why or why not?

•Can a person’s life be full of some chaos and confusion while they still have peace in their hearts? Why or why not?

•What do you think it means to “let the peace of Christ rule” in our hearts? (See Colossians 3:15.) How do we let Christ’s peace rule—or keep it from ruling?

•How does peace come about when two groups are at war? How do we surrender ourselves to God and to each other to create peace?

•What would be the value of having His peace in your heart at school or in sports or at home?

•Who are some of the most peaceful people you know?

•We’re told in Colossians 3:16 to let the word of Christ live inside our hearts “richly.” Do you think we do a good job of letting Christ’s words live inside of us in our family?

•What are some things we—or you—could do to be more intentional about getting Christ’s word out of the Bible and into our hearts? Will that make any difference in the way we live our lives?

•How important is music to you? How does music influence your mood and/or what you think about? Why do you think music can be so powerful?

•How important are “psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs” in your life? Does that Christian music help you feel closer to God?

•Do you enjoy singing songs to God? Songs about God? What’s the value of singing those kinds of songs together with other Christians?

•Which is more helpful to your spiritual relationship with God, singing spiritual songs or listening to others sing them? Why do you think that is?

•If your identity is supposed to be Jesus, how much of the time should you live as Jesus? [Parent: We’re trying to emphasize that we need to live in Christ all of the time.]

•Let’s read Colossians 3:17 together. Does that leave room to have any part of our lives set aside to NOT live “in Jesus’ name”? What does it mean to talk and act “in the name of Jesus”?

•How do you think Jesus would live your life differently if He suddenly became you and went to school for you and went to church for you and went to work for you (without anyone knowing it was not you)? What differences would people notice right away? What difference would they notice over time?

•What things would not change if Jesus started living your life for you? In other words, what are some ways you are already living as Jesus in your life?

•What can we do together to help each other do a better job of living as Christ in our home and world?


Daily Prayer

Ask God to help your child to clothe themselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. (See Colossians 3:12.)


Featured Resource: Sacred Parenting


Explore the spiritual dynamics of parenting, and why caring for children is such an effective discipline in shaping our souls and forming the character of Christ within us.

Save 20% off the retail price of “Sacred Parenting” when you use Coupon Code YPN391 and order by 9/30/09
http://www.realworldparents.com/store/item/sacred_parenting/
2. Learn Their Lingo

Afterclap = That last person/people who keep(s) clapping after everyone else has stopped.

mascary = When a person wears a scary amount of mascara


3. Movie Reviews for Parents

All About Steve

In spite of a likable cast, very few recent films have annoyed secular critics as much as “All About Steve.” We can’t disagree. But if…

Read Review:
http://www.realworldparents.com/movies/review/all_about_steve/

500 Days of Summer

This non-linear romantic comedy brings lots of artful indie charm, has won over secular critics, and is likely to appeal to older teens. It finds…

Read Review:
http://www.realworldparents.com/movies/review/500_days_of_summer/


4. Links to Learn From

Girls and Dieting, Then and Now [Wall Street Journal]
http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052970204731804574386822245731710.html

Better News, but Retail Prospects Are Still Dim [New York Times]
http://www.nytimes.com/2009/09/02/business/economy/02shop.html?_r=1&hp

Survey: Parents overestimate role in teens’ sex education [Austin-American Statesman]
http://www.statesman.com/news/content/news/stories/local/2009/09/02/0902teensex.html


5. A Little Encouragement...And Humor

Take the first step in faith. You don't have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step.

- Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.


Upcoming Seminar Locations

YEILD Kershaw

- Kershaw, SC

Shady Grove UMC

- Winston-Salem, NC

First Reformed Church

- Landis, NC

Our Savior Lutheran Church

- Mankato, MN

Alliance Church of the Valley

- St. Croix Falls, WI

THe 10 Commandments

Contents

1. Tools for Parenting Teens
2. Learn Their Lingo
3. Movie Reviews
4. Links to Learn From
5. A Little Encouragement...And Humor
1. Tools for Parenting Teens

From http://www.realworldparents.com/starters/

The Ten Commandments

Why talk about the Ten Commandments with your son or daughter? It’s worth asking the question. After all, we’re trying to help our students to catch the idea that, as Christians, we are saved by grace and not by following the law—that our struggle with sin, including the big Ten, does not disqualify us from being loved by God if our faith is in Christ.

Unfortunately, the message many teens hear (right along with people of every age) is that our sin doesn’t really matter that much to God, after all. If forgiveness is given away for free to all who believe, some assume that what is forgiven is therefore not all that significant. We cannot over-emphasize the grace of God to our kids, but we can under-emphasize His revulsion to our sin.

That’s why we—and especially our kids—need to understand God’s standard for right and wrong in order to get how amazing His grace really is. The Ten Commandments is a good place to start talking about why God takes sin so seriously. These rules reveal who God is—what matters to Him and what He wants for His children.

We hope a few of the following questions will help you to have a productive conversation with your child about the Ten Commandments and the grace of God. You might find it helpful to read through Exodus 20:1-17 together. If you don’t have an opportunity to talk through the whole list, it would be easy to bring up any or all of the commandments—or even just the idea of the list—in smaller conversations as teachable moments present themselves.
Talking Points

•How many of the Ten Commandments can you name without looking? [Parent: Have the list ready to complete it together.]

•Do you remember the story of where and how God gave these ten rules to the Israelites? [Parent: Be prepared to sketch out the backstory from Exodus 19: It had been 3 months since the Israelites had crossed the Red Sea, escaping from Egypt. One of God’s first stops for them was at Mount Sinai, where He gave these commandments.]

•Do you think it’s important for Christians to know and understand the Ten Commandments? Why or why not?

•Is it worse for us to break these rules than to break others of God’s instructions in the Bible? What “happens to you” if you break one of these commands? Will God hate you or punish you? [Parent: Be sure to emphasize that we are all sinners and can be saved only by God’s grace and forgiveness through faith in Jesus. Help your child to understand that God’s forgiveness for those in Christ covers all of our sin.]

•If our Father has already forgiven our sin through our faith in Jesus’ death in our place on the cross—why does it matter that we know about the law? Does God really care if we keep sinning? [Parent: Check out Romans 5 and 6 for good answers to these questions if you want to go deeper.]

•What do the first two commands—no other gods and no idols—tell us about God? Why do you think He is so opposed to His people worshipping other gods or looking to other supernatural sources for help?

•Most people we know don’t worship actual idols they think of as gods. But what kinds of things do people in our culture tend to put ahead of god? What kinds of things do we turn to for help instead of God?

•Paul describes greed as idol worship (in Ephesians 5:5 and Colossians 3:5). How is wanting and trying to get things you don’t need like worshiping an idol?

•The third commandment warns against using God’s name in vain. His name has power. To use it in vain means to disrespect Him or to misuse His power. Do you think anyone takes this command seriously any more? How many people do you know who refuse to use God’s name in disrespectful or deceitful ways?

•What choices have you made about using God’s name or Jesus’ name for swearing or lying or condemning people? Some Christians don’t seem uncomfortable saying “oh my God” or “Jesus” when they’re excited or angry. Why do you think that is?

•“Remember the Sabbath day by keeping it holy” is the fourth command to the Israelites. It’s the only one on the list that New Testament Christians are not called to practice in exactly the same way. Why is that? [Parent: Be prepared to explain your understanding of the Sabbath and how your church addresses it.]

•Commandment 5 gets repeated almost exactly in Ephesians 6:1-3. What does it mean to you to honor your parents? Should it matter whether your parents deserve honor or not, according to God?

•Why do you think this command was important enough to make the list? Do you think it takes more faith in God for some people to obey this command than others? Why?

•Commands 6 - 8 are the simplest ones: Don’t murder. Don’t commit adultery. Don’t steal. Do you think God intended for there to be any exceptions to these commands? Why or why not?

•The ninth commandment deals with lying, specifically lying in a legal sense to hurt another person. Has anyone ever lied in a way that ended up hurting you? Can you think of any reasons that lying about someone else would ever be justified?

•Proverbs tells us that lying is one of the things God really hates. Why do you think He’s so passionate about not telling the truth?

•The tenth commandment talks about coveting. How would you define coveting?

•One definition for coveting could be to make a choice not to be content because you don’t have what someone else has. Why would God care so much whether we’re content or not, as long as we’re keeping all these other commands? [Parent: Be sure to emphasize that what this list shows, in part, is that God really cares that we are satisfied that He is the one who meets all of our needs, that we don’t need anything apart from what He gives to us. God wants our hearts to be fully satisfied with Him.]

•How are we doing as a family at following these commandments? If someone is able to keep them all, does that make them a better person? A better Christian? Good enough to get into heaven? Why or why not? [Parent: Be sure to emphasize that though God is pleased with our obedience, all of us have sinned. None of us can ever earn a place in heaven, because we can’t obey Him perfectly.]

•If someone has broken many—or all—of these commands, is that person doomed? [Parent: It would be great to end this conversation by emphasizing again that Jesus was doomed (or “crushed”) in the place of all who have broken these or other commands of God—and put their trust in Him to receive forgiveness for those sins.]

•So why does it matter so much that we try to obey God now? Why does it matter that we try to live like Jesus—with the help of the Holy Spirit?
Daily Prayer

Ask God to help your child to learn to set their hearts on things above, where Christ is. (See Colossians 3:1.)
Featured Resource: The Space Between


The changes and challenges of adolescence can leave many parents feeling overwhelmed at times with fear, confusion, frustration, and a lack of understanding. But here you’ll find hope to help you understand and effectively parent your teen. Dr. Walt Mueller brings more than 30 years of adolescent research (and his own parenting experience) to help you through the tumultuous years of adolescence.
http://www.realworldparents.com/store/item/the_space_between/

2. Learn Their Lingo

BION = Text message short for, "Believe it or not."
RAWK! = RAWK is the slang spelling of ROCK, originally used by metal fans. 1) RAWK is used to express joy, as in a rallying cry. 2) It can also mean congratulations.


3. Movie Reviews for Parents

500 Days of Summer

This non-linear romantic comedy brings lots of artful indie charm, has won over secular critics, and is likely to appeal to older teens. It finds…
Read Review:
http://www.realworldparents.com/movies/review/500_days_of_summer/

Ponyo

Master animator Hayao Miyazaki built his latest film on the structure of Hans Christian Anderson’s classic tale “The Little Mermaid.” But the story exists within…
Read Review:
http://www.realworldparents.com/movies/review/ponyo/


4. Links to Learn From

85% of those 18-23 who make a commitment to God did so before age 14 [Fuller Youth Institute]
http://fulleryouthinstitute.org/2009/08/the-85-statistic-is-back/

Why are coming of age movies about grown-ups now? [Washington Post]
http://www.mercurynews.com/movies/ci_13207099


Abercrombie & Fitch: Worst Recession Brand? [Time]
http://www.time.com/time/business/article/0,8599,1918160,00.html


5. A Little Encouragement...And Humor

Within the covers of the Bible are the answers for all the problems men face.

- Ronald Reagan

Finding Peace

Contents
1. Tools for Parenting Teens
2. Learn Their Lingo
3. Movie Reviews
4. Links to Learn From
5. A Little Encouragement...And Humor
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

1. Tools for Parenting Teens
From http://www.realworldparents.com/starters/

Finding Peace

Okay, so teens don’t always seem like the most peace-loving people on the planet. Or in the house. But everyone wants peace of mind, even if some of us seem to want to have it really loudly.

After last week’s excursion into madness, that is anger, it seems right to find a few minutes to talk this week with our kids about peace. In a time of life virtually defined by angst, we’re convinced that Christian teens can represent Christ in their circles of influence by walking in and exhibiting genuine peace of mind—not just by pretending that nothing is bothering them.
As always, these conversations are meant to offer parents an opportunity to be honest about their own history, struggles, and success stories. Don’t be afraid to open up about how you wrestle with anxiety, anger, or fear to walk with the peace of Christ.

We hope a few of the following questions will give you a few good minutes of conversation with your son or daughter.

Talking Points
Are there times of day or days of the week when you feel more peaceful than others? Times when you feel less peaceful? Why do you think that is?

What kinds of emotions are most likely to steal your peace of mind? Stress? Anxiety? Anger? Fear? What helps you to overcome that?

Can a loud, active person also have peace and quiet in his or her heart? Does being peaceful mean you have to also being boring or bored?
Where does peace of mind come from?

Do you struggle to find peace when you go to bed at night? How can choosing to trust God with what’s on your mind help with that? (Psalm 4:8)

Is peace something that just happens to you if you’re lucky or blessed? Or is it something you have to go after? (Psalm 34:14)

Is it reasonable to expect to do wrong things and feel peaceful at the same time? Why or why not? (Psalm 85:10; Isaiah 32:17)
If you’re having trouble finding peace in your mind or emotions, does it makes sense to check your life to see if you’re doing some sinful things?

Have strong feelings or envy or jealousy ever stolen your peace? (Proverbs 14:30)

Do you think you can lose your sense of peace when you’re chasing money or stuff or success?
What kinds of things can make our household or our lives feel stressful? What could bring more peace into our house and our relationships? (Proverbs 17:1)

Proverbs 29:17 tells parents that one way to have a peaceful relationship with sons is to discipline them. How do you think that works out in our lives together?

Do you ever feel more peaceful after reading or studying God’s Word? (Psalm 119:165)

Featured Resource: The Wisdom Deck
Packed with ideas for conversation starters and wisdom that will help with school, sports, dating, money, and college. Dive into deeper, wiser discussions with The Wisdom Deck. Lean more about The Wisdom Deck at http://www.theWisdomDeck.com!
*Save 20% off the retail price of “The Wisdom Deck” when you use Coupon Code RWPN104 and order by 5/30/09.http://www.realworldparents.com/store/item/the_wisdom_deck/

2. Learn Their Lingo
bromance = A non-sexual relationship between two men that are unusually close.
dudevorce = When two male best friends officially end their friendship over a lame disagreement, usually concerning a girl.

3. Movie Reviews for Parents
X-Men Origins: Wolverine
The first big blockbuster of the “summer” borrows from “The Dark Knight” in its violent tone, killing off innocent and major characters one after another… Read Review:http://www.realworldparents.com/movies/review/x-men_origins_wolverine/

Fighting
Fighting is grittier “Rocky”-style genre picture full of pummeling for fun and profit. Teens who have seen Channing Tatum in the “Step Up” films or… Read Review:http://www.realworldparents.com/movies/review/fighting/

4. Links to Learn From
Fathers and sons: Don’t forget to celebrate mothers next month [Jackson Sun]http://www.jacksonsun.com/article/20090428/LIFESTYLE/904280302
Teen Drug Education Also Helps Curb Risky Sexual Behavior [Science Daily]http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2009/04/090429111247.htm
Family arguing leaves a long-lasting imprint on children [Boston.com]http://www.boston.com/news/health/articles/2009/04/27/a_lingering_cloud/
Worried Your Kid Is Addicted to Video Games? [U.S. News & World Report]http://health.usnews.com/blogs/on-parenting/2009/4/21/worried-your-kid-is-addicted-to-video-games-unplug-the-xbox-and-get-him-a-job.html

5. A Little Encouragement...And Humor
Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap-on-a-rope. - Bill Cosby

Angry Much?

Contents
1. Tools for Parenting Teens
2. Learn Their Lingo
3. Movie Reviews
4. Links to Learn From
5. A Little Encouragement...And Humor
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

1. Tools for Parenting Teens
From http://www.realworldparents.com/starters/

Angry Much?
A lot of the drama in the lives of students revolves around anger issues. That’s partly because we live in an anger-driven world and partly because adolescent hormones make angry feelings rise to the surface more easily.

In their daily lives, teens must navigate unresolved conflicts within their circle of friends, anger directed toward them (rightly or not) from those in authority, and their own feelings of resentment or outbursts of rage. Much of that anger has to do with perceptions of fairness, respect, and betrayal.

Some students also wonder if maybe God is angry with them. Sometimes they feel like He probably should be. At other times, they may resent Him for His anger based on a wrong understanding of who God is.

The teen years can be a time when a person learns to recognize, respect, and control anger. A few of the following questions (and related Bible passages) might help you to have a helpful conversation with your student about anger.

Talking Points:
-Do you think of God as being angry, in general, or angry with you?

-The Bible describes Him as being slow to get angry; does that fit with your picture of Him? (See Psalm 145:8.)
-What do you think our lives would be like if God were truly angry with us all the time?
For Christians, why do you think God is NOT angry with us about our sinful choices? (Emphasize the fact that God gives us credit for Jesus’ perfect choices. Think about reading Romans 8:1-2 together if there’s any question about this.)
-God warns us to avoid making friends with people who are quick to get angry. (See Proverbs 22:24-25.) Why do you think that is?
-Would you describe any of your good friends as angry or “hot tempered” people? Has any one else’s anger problem ever cause you pain or trouble?
-Everyone gets angry sometimes, including parents. (Think about talking about the issue of anger between you and your child and trying to clear the air about any unresolved anger questions between you. If it seems healthy, you might consider bringing up Ephesians 6:4 and talking about how dads can sometimes help their kids to feel more or less angry over time.)
-Would you say it ever feels good to get really angry? Why or why not?
-The Bible says that it is unwise to completely unleash our anger—to just let ourselves express our angry feelings without holding back. (See Proverbs 29:11.) Why do you think that is?
-Do you think people are more or less likely to sin when they’re angry? (See Proverbs 29:22.)
-God’s Word makes a big deal about how quickly we get angry. We’re told that love is not easily angered and that God is slow to get angry. On a scale from 1 to 10—with 10 being the fastest—how quickly do you tend to get angry? (See Ecclesiastes 7:9. Think about being honest about your own anger speed.)
-Do you think getting angry is a sin all by itself? (No! Emphasize this idea strongly and think about reading Ephesians 4:26 together.)
-The Bible commands us not let anger lead us into sin and not to hold onto our anger overnight. Once you get angry, how hard is it to let go of anger? (Think about sharing some ways you might have learned for letting go of anger.)
-Anger sometimes makes us feel stronger; do you think it ever helps us to make better choices? (Not usually. See James 1:20.)
-How is letting go of anger similar to making a choice to trust God? (Emphasize that when we let go of anger we’re deciding to believe that God is in control, that He is good and powerful and loving, and that He will bring about the best possible result in the situation in the long run.)

Featured Resource: Boundaries with Teens
In this exciting new book, Dr. Townsend gives important keys for establishing healthy boundaries—the bedrock of good relationships, maturity, safety, and growth for teens and the adults in their lives. The book offers help in raising your teens to take responsibility for their actions, attitudes, and emotions.
*Save 30% off the retail price of “Boundaries with Teens” when you use Coupon Code YPN292 and order by 4/30/09.http://www.realworldparents.com/store/item/boundaries_with_teens/

2. Learn Their Lingo
JJA = Text messaging, short for "just joking around"
Ghetto Upgrade = When you are flying economy on a near empty flight and can lay across an entire row of seats.

3. Movie Reviews for Parents
17 Again
In addition to reflecting (sometimes poignantly) the common “what if” game played by grown-ups everywhere, the silly “17 Again” works out a couple of big… Read Review:http://www.realworldparents.com/movies/review/17_again/
Hannah Montana: The Movie
If your daughter is a fan of the Hannah Montana franchise, this record-breaking G-rated movie might provide some valuable teachable moments about issues of fame,… Read Review:http://www.realworldparents.com/movies/review/hannah_montana_the_movie/

4. Links to Learn From
1.5 Million Kids on the Street [Fuller Youth Institute]http://fulleryouthinstitute.org/2009/03/15-million-kids-on-the-street/
Disney Expert Uses Science to Draw Boy Viewers [New York Times]http://www.nytimes.com/2009/04/14/arts/television/14boys.html?_r=1
Six Teen Sexual Health Myths Spread by Web Identified [Stanford University]http://www.businesswire.com/portal/site/google/?ndmViewId=news_view&newsId=20090414006224&newsLang=en
Don’t Be a Party to Teenage Drinking [Valley Courier]http://www.alamosanews.com/V2_news_articles.php?heading=0&page=75&story_id=12526

5. A Little Encouragement...And Humor
What you see and hear depends a great deal on where you are standing; it also depends on what sort of person you are.- C.S. Lewis

Why the Resurrection matters

Contents
1. Tools for Parenting Teens
2. Learn Their Lingo
3. Movie Reviews
4. Links to Learn From
5. A Little Encouragement...And Humor
====================================

1. Tools for Parenting Teens
From http://www.realworldparents.com/starters/

This Week: The Real Jesus

Dual identities are a huge part of our entertainment and youth culture right now. This last weekend, Hannah Montana ruled the box office with her ongoing story of being both “regular girl” Miley Stewart and pop star Hannah.

That secret alter-ego territory is normally reserved for the comic book/superhero world of Bruce Wayne/Batman, Peter Parker/Spider-Man, etc. And rap stars have been beefing up their stage presence with assumed tough-guy identities for years. Our celebrity craze is driven partly by the “need” to find out who our on-screen heroes “really are.”

Having just wrapped up Easter week, Christians have been reminded that Jesus operated while here on Earth as a kind of dual identity, as well. We believe He was both fully God and fully man without the need for a costume change to become either one. We emphasized his humanity last week, that His life, death, and resurrection were all very physical.

This week, we’re looking for opportunities to talk about His non-secret identity as God, a being who has always existed, who is amazingly powerful, and who is absolutely unique in all of the universe. We want to talk about why it had to be Him on the cross and leaving the tomb—or else all of us would be lost.

If you get a chance to capitalize on last week’s Easter emphasis, look to work a few of these questions into a productive conversation about Jesus. You’ll find it helpful to read through Colossians 1:15-22.

Talking Points:
How often do you think about Jesus? Do you ever wonder what His existence was like before He came to Earth or after He ascended into heaven?
Have you ever wondered if someone else could have died on the cross? Did it have to be Him?
Our culture seems to be fascinated with dual identities, like Miley Cyrus/Hannah Montana, Bruce Wayne/Batman, and every rap star out there. Why do you think we’re so interested in that?
Have you ever thought of Jesus as having a dual identity? Why do you think He kept the secret for so long while He was on earth of who He really is? What was the point of waiting?
We believe that He was fully God and fully human at the same time. What does that idea mean to you?
During Easter week, we heard a lot about His life as a man. Colossians 1 tells us some about His life as God, including the idea that He is the image of God. Why do you think it matters that we have a “picture” of God, who is invisible?
Did you know that Jesus existed before anything else in all of creation—and that He created everything? Is there any way to even imagine that kind of power?
We’re told Jesus still holds all things together, so He’s still all-powerful even after becoming human and dying and rising again. What do you think would happen if He stopped holding everything together?
Jesus is also the head of the church—and over everything in the universe, for that matter. I know we don’t always obey God, but how often do you think about the idea that Jesus is Lord of everything, including us?
The Bible says we were God’s enemies “in our minds” because of our “evil” actions. Do you ever think of people who are not in Christ as being God’s enemies? Would someone in a war with God have any hope at all of winning?
We all still sin—just like God’s enemies do—but Jesus’ death and resurrection made it possible for us to be reconciled, to be made perfect in God’s eyes. What is it worth to be changed from God’s enemy to a member of God’s family?

Featured Resource: Boundaries with Teens
In this exciting new book, Dr. Townsend gives important keys for establishing healthy boundaries—the bedrock of good relationships, maturity, safety, and growth for teens and the adults in their lives. The book offers help in raising your teens to take responsibility for their actions, attitudes, and emotions.
*Save 30% off the retail price of “Boundaries with Teens” when you use Coupon Code YPN292 and order by 4/30/09.http://www.realworldparents.com/store/item/boundaries_with_teens/

2. Learn Their Lingo
JJA = Text messaging, short for "just joking around"
Ghetto Upgrade = When you are flying economy on a near empty flight and can lay across an entire row of seats.

3. Movie Reviews for Parents
Hannah Montana: The Movie
If your daughter is a fan of the Hannah Montana franchise, this record-breaking G-rated movie might provide some valuable teachable moments about issues of fame,… Read Review:http://www.realworldparents.com/movies/review/hannah_montana_the_movie/
Fast & Furious
“Fast & Furious” is a huge hit, scoring an opening weekend for April that is nearly $30 million more than the previous record. Many teens… Read Review:http://www.realworldparents.com/movies/review/fast_furious/

4. Links to Learn From
1.5 Million Kids on the Street [Fuller Youth Institute]
http://fulleryouthinstitute.org/2009/03/15-million-kids-on-the-street/
Disney Expert Uses Science to Draw Boy Viewers [New York Times]http://www.nytimes.com/2009/04/14/arts/television/14boys.html?_r=1
Six Teen Sexual Health Myths Spread by Web Identified [Stanford University]http://www.businesswire.com/portal/site/google/?ndmViewId=news_view&newsId=20090414006224&newsLang=en
Don’t Be a Party to Teenage Drinking [Valley Courier]http://www.alamosanews.com/V2_news_articles.php?heading=0&page=75&story_id=12526

5. A Little Encouragement...And Humor
What you see and hear depends a great deal on where you are standing; it also depends on what sort of person you are.- C.S. Lewis